Portrait of the Artist as a Road Comic
photograph by Minh Carrico Road comics are the gypsies of the modern age, wandering far and wide, setting up our tents wherever there’s a microphone, a spotlight, and a sign that says “Comedy Night.” I rather fancy myself a roving court jester, traveling to the outposts of Texas civilization and bringing laughter and good cheer,…
The Lodge at Lakeview
3825 Lake Austin Blvd. (Oyster Landing), 476-7372 Mon-Thu,11am-10:30pm; Fri & Sat, 11am-11pm; Sun, 10:30am-10:30pm As we walked down the ramp into the Lodge dining room, memories of the dining hall at the New Mexico mountain summer camp I attended as a teenager flashed through my mind. The flashback must have been inspired by the rustic…
Prices at Selected Local Funeral Homes
Basic Services (Cover Charge)Direct EmbalmingCremation Austin-Peel & Son $1,089 $275 $1,089 Cook-Walden$1,125 $295 $1,365 King Tears$1,150 $325 $ 775 Weed-Corley-Fish $1,090$285$1,660 Wilke-Amey-Clay$850$150 $1,260 Source: Funeral home price lists
Festival Notes
This year’s Austin International Poetry Festival planners have a workers’ paradise vision of the week — namely, the weekend starts Tuesday and lasts six days. Although most of the 400 poets (hailing from Austin to Australia) will read during the traditional Thursday to Sunday block, significant events have been frontloaded to Tuesday and Wednesday, encouraging…
Powerful Appetite
Thai Passion 620 Congress, 472-1244 Lunch: Mon-Fri, 11am-2:30pm. Dinner: Sun-Thu, 5-9:30pm, Fri & Sat 5-10pm. photograph by John Anderson When it comes to Thai fare, food lovers have lots to be passionate about. One of the richest cuisines in the world, Thai cooking employs dozens of tantalizing herbs and spices, layering dishes with a mosaic…
Austin’s Funeral Homes: Who Handles The Dead?
199419951996 Amey168203195 Austin-Peel & Son99104124 Harrell209234250 Weed-Corley-Fish55157544 Wilke-Amey-Clay348385384 Cook-Walden total1,0201,038985 North Lamar740694643 Chapel of the Hills99129151 Forest Oaks181215191 Cook-Walden % of total42.6%41.0%39.7% Total at Austin funeral homes2,3872,5342,482 Total Deaths in Austin3,0433,080N/A Sources: John Amey, from obituary listings in the Austin American-Statesman; Texas Dept. of Health Bureau of Vital Statistics
The Life and Times of an Emotional Transient
photograph by Bruce Dye William Butler Yeats, looking earthward from Byzantium, said, “That is no country for old men.” He meant our country, the world of the living, pulsing with the fury and mire of human veins. Yeats was a grand old man, but it’s hard to forget — as he assented — that while…
The Basement Tapes
illustration by Nathan Jensen Throughout history, the economics of creativity have often acted as a barrier to artistic expression. Although this barrier performs an invaluable service by sifting out a lot of crap, it also tends to stymie evolutionary artists in favor of the lowest common denominator. Too often, it seems that the pioneers who…
Websites
Perhaps the most comprehensive funeral site is one maintained by Father Henry Wasielewski, a Catholic priest who lives in Tempe, Arizona. Wasielewski helped found the Interfaith Funeral Information Committee, which has a fact-filled website (http://www.xroads.com/~funerals/). A longtime critic of the mortuary industry, Wasielewski says that the key to saving money is to shop around. People…
Postscripts
The Austin Writers’ League (AWL) is now taking registrations for spring workshops and classes. Among the offerings: On April 5, author Elizabeth Moon will teach “Transitions in Fiction” and Louis Sachar, author of the Wayside School series, will teach “How to Become a Successful Children’s Book Author”; frequent Austin Chronicle columnist and acclaimed author Marion…
Dancing About Architecture
There’s just no rest for the weird in Austin, let me tell ya. I took a little trip out to the Survival Research Labs “compound” at Longhorn Speedway on Monday in anticipation of Friday’s big show, and found a scene that resembled what Star Wars might have looked like if it were made in a…
Naked City
The Barton Springs Salamander and the S.O.S. Alliance scored a court victory this week. On Tuesday, U.S. District Court Judge Lucius Bunton ruled that U.S. Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt wrongly withdrew the proposed listing of the salamander as an endangered species. Said S.O.S. Attorney Bill Bunch: “It confirms [Babbitt’s] decision was politically influenced and not…
Ripe and Ready’s Heartwork
There’s something almost punk rock about performance art and poetry — outside academic circles, both art forms exist at the edge of the art world, often at the fringe of the fringe. The women of Ripe and Ready might bristle at the punk comparison but it is in that do-it-yourself spirit that they have combined…
New Adventures in Old-Fi
High school Goons 1969 At first, it’s impossible to resist calling “bullshit” on the tale of the Memphis Goons. What could be more Spinal Tap than a band of high school buddies who never made it out of their garage and yet, 25 years later, have released a single, full-length album, infomercial, and are currently…
Survival Research Laboratories
Mark Pauline is extending an invite to a monster truck rally in hell. Pauline is ringmaster/leader of Survival Research Labs, a Bay Area group (in)famous within cyberculture for violent technoindustrial spectacles incorporating customized robotics, massive flames, and an extremely twisted flare for showmanship. After 50 or more shows in the U.S. and Europe, including a…
about AIDS
1) Eat a balanced, varied diet based of nutrient-dense foods. Take care of your body’s need for protein and calories. Take a high potency multivitamin/mineral supplement. Learn about possible deficiencies in your diet. Consult a dietician. 2) Exercise regularly. Join a health club. Enroll in an aerobics program. Explore the hike-&-bike trails. Use the stairs.…
Also Playing
Friday: Cowboys & Indians, Continental Club; Limpopo, Babes; Bruce Robison, Cactus Cafe; Saturday: Spoon, Hong Kong, Monroe Mustang, Dilli, Electric Lounge; Derailers, Broken Spoke Sunday: Monte Montgomery, Saxon Pub Monday: Don Walser, Babes Tuesday: Hot Buttered Rhythm, Mercury Lounge Wednesday: Eric Burdon’s i Band, Liberty Lunch; Peter Jefferies, Ritz Lounge Thursday: Gulf Coast Playboys, Antone’s;…
Still the Greatest
Muhammad Ali in Zaire In my lifetime, only one public figure has claimed to be “the greatest” and not been a liar. That person is Muhammad Ali. Why has Muhammad Ali meant so much to me, a white Jewish girl from New Jersey who has no feel for sports — no less the raw combat…
Hearth & Soul
by Suzy Banks Tone of “Hearth & Soul” to Change I have failed in this column. And my failure is grounded in the erroneous beliefs to which I’ve clung for years: the power of humor and the appeal of self-sufficiency. But this week I had an epiphany which convinced me the world would be a…
Record Reviews
KENNY WHEELER Angel Song (ECM) Trumpeter Kenny Wheeler’s new recording finds him with a dream team band, yet remains as notable for what’s missing as for what’s between the grooves. Joined by Lee Konitz on alto, Bill Frisell on guitar, and Dave Holland on bass, the drummerless quartet features superlative and lyrical musicianship. Musical dialogues…
Scanlines
D: Steve Buscemi; with Buscemi, Carol Kane, Mark Boone, Jr., Bronson Dudley, Anthony LaPaglia, Michael Buscemi, Elizabeth Bracco, Debi Mazar, Chloe Sevigny, Samuel L. Jackson. VHS Home Video Waterloo Video, 1016 W. Sixth Trees Lounge Omnipresent indie actor Buscemi plays thirtysomething barfly Tommy Basilio in a film that shows off more than his acting talent…
Benefits
Golf Marathon to benefit ARC of Austin, at Circle C Golf Course, all day. 476-7044. SAT 5 Spring Fling to benefit Hope Lutheran School, at Hope Lutheran Church, 6414 N. Hampton, noon-5pm. 926-8574. SUN 6 Silent Auction of W&TW to benefit Women & Their Work, at The Bitter End, 4-7pm. Cost is $25. 477-1064. The…
Road Shows
MARCH FRI 28 Nuno Bettencourt, >Liberty Lunch FRI 28 Cowboys & Indians, Continental Club FRI 28 Gatemouth Brown, Antone’s FRI 28 Chalk Farm, Lazlo Bane, Electric Lounge FRI 28 J Church, Pee, Rubber, Emo’s FRI 28 Limpopo, Babes SAT 29 Coco Montoya, Tab Benoit, Antone’s SAT 29 The Delta 72, Emo’s SAT 29 King Chango,…
Shortcuts
by Jen Scoville A final showdown between man and machine has been argued to be inevitable, but the battle between machine and machine (with man watching helplessly from the sidelines) is about to be played out on Texas soil sooner than you can say J.G. Ballard. And I think it’s going to give us a…
Coach’s Corner
A week ago, re- posing for hours on an emergency room cot, I vividly imagined what would be said about me upon my imminent demise. I’m still here, so instead, let’s do a post-mortem on the 1996-’97 Runnin’ Horns and what needs to happen in the future if the University of Texas expects to be…
AISD Notebook
The board also engaged in a session on proposed relief areas (read: new schools) in the southern portion of the school district. Of the 11 schools that are slated to be built with bond funds, five (two middle schools, three elementaries) will be erected somewhere south of Town Lake. In response to board members’ requests…
The Memphis Goons
Teenage BBQ (Shangri-La) A stagger to the left of the Velvet Underground and a swing to the right of the Shaggs, the Memphis Goons never let their limited grasp of musical rudiments shatter their ambition. The Goons existed in Elvis’ backyard from 1970 to 1973, but the locale could’ve been any American bedroom community. For…
Day Trips
The Chihuahuan Desert Research Institute’s (CDRI) visitor center outside of Fort Davis serves multiple functions: research laboratory, recreational center, and natural area. Surrounded by the rugged Davis Mountains, the center gives the visitor a firsthand look at the fragile ecosystem of the largest desert in North America. Dennis Miller, director of the non-profit institute that…
Grave Matters
photograph by Jana Birchum The last piece of property you’ll ever need will probably be the most expensive. Much has been written about Austin’s high real estate prices, but dollar for dollar, it’s cheaper to buy a lot to build a place to live than it is to purchase a plot of land to plant…
Page Two
It’s that time again: the annual april Fools issue. Yes, we started this little tradition three years ago when, in an issue dated 4/1/94, we more or less announced that we had been bought by the daily, had changed our format effective immediately, and promised to be more mainstream and not so skeptical and critical…
Segregation in the Hereafter?
In death, it is said, all men are equal. If that’s the case, then why do the races tend to contract with their own kind when it comes to making those final arrangements? A quick scan of the local obituary page shows that funeral services for African Americans tend to be handled by King Tears…
Page Two
It’s that time again: the annual april Fools issue. Yes, we started this little tradition three years ago when, in an issue dated 4/1/94, we more or less announced that we had been bought by the daily, had changed our format effective immediately, and promised to be more mainstream and not so skeptical and critical…
Dying Guide to Austin
CemeteryBurial SpaceMausoleum NicheSpace for Cremains Austin Memorial Park$950n/a$150* Evergreen$770n/a$150* Assumption Cemetery$450-1,000$2,250-5,000$850 Onion Creek Memorial Park$775-895n/a$475-895** Cook-Walden*** $1,755$3,295-4,595$1,300-1,700 * City of Austin cemeteries have plots for the burial of cremation remains. ** Onion Creek Memorial Park offers both burial spaces and niches in mausoleums for cremation remains. ***Cook-Walden offers mausoleum niches for cremated remains.
Public Notice
Mmmmm… The change in the air inspires the teeniest of little buds to crack the bark of trees hardened by winter. The new cloak of bursting bulbs ignites the air with scents and colors enticing innocent little bees and birdies to do nature’s delightfully naughty work. Fertile. Yes. Not a bad time to assess our…
Blowing the Whistle?
illustration by Doug Potter A former top-level city official, Hector Fabela, has filed a “whistleblower lawsuit” against the city. If what he alleges is true, the tale of his harassment provides an introduction into how a few key bureaucrats wield power at City Hall. According to Fabela, they are members of an elite club that…
Articulations
In commemoration of the Fool’s Day this coming Tuesday and this issue’s cover story, this column will be given over completely to news in Austin comedy. First off, don’t be a fool and wait until April 1 to enter the “Funniest Person in Austin Contest,” sponsored again by the Capitol City Comedy Club, or you’ll…
Mister Smarty Pants Knows
Emperor Rudolph II of Bohemia’s grandmother was known as Joanna the Mad. Confederate Major General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson would ride into battle with his left arm extended above his head because he believed it gave him a harmonic psychic balance. He also wouldn’t fight on Sundays due to his religion. Twelve percent of American men…
With Friends Like Jim Bob…
illustration by Doug Potter Two years ago, Jim Bob Moffett and Gary Bradley were on the same side. Today, the two are squaring off in court. Although their names are nowhere to be found in the pleadings filed in a lawsuit filed in Travis County District Court — known as Circle C Land Corp. v.…
Exhibitionism
TARTUFFE: LONE STAR FOLLIES John Henry Faulk Theatre through April 5 Running time: 2 hrs When it comes right down to it, saying “There’s a sucker born every minute” doesn’t cover the half of it. There may be three or nine or 60 suckers born every minute, maybe more, ’cause the truth of it is…
Clones-Clones Part-Part 2-2
illustration by A.J. Garces As my brother Vinnie put it, “In this country, you’ve got 250-plus million people who can’t seem to agree on anything, but Monday morning comes along and they all agree it’s time to go to work.” For all our talk of individuality, most of us get up at roughly the same…
Death Be Not Cheap
illustration by Jason Stout More than perhaps any other industry, the funeral business depends on image. In promotional materials, cemeteries are portrayed as peaceful oases where the grass is always neatly cropped. Likewise, funeral homes are made to appear serenely prosperous. Don’t buy it. The funeral industry has become an increasingly cut-throat business where profits,…
Which Woody?
illustration by Roy Tompkins When the Library of Congress bought Woody Guthrie’s songbook, he sent a letter to Washington commenting on the songs: “They’re awfully easy to sing, and you can sing them drunk or sober, it don’t matter, just a matter of personal choice. I tried them both ways.” He thought the House and…
Food-O-File
by Virginia B. Wood Still hopping around trying to make plans for Easter Sunday dinner? Here’s some additional information to supplement our recent Brunch round-up (March 7, 1997, Vol. 16, No. 27). According to General Manager Bob Russell, Bertram’s (1601 Guadalupe, 476-2743) will open Easter Sunday, 11:30am-4:30pm. Chef Peter O’Brien has designed an Easter menu…
Dying on the Cheap
illustration by Jason Stout Here’s a sobering fact: The third largest purchase the average person will make in their lifetime — after a house and a car — is a funeral. Kind of makes you want to go out and buy a bass boat, doesn’t it? But you can’t get buried in a bass boat.…
