A Hater's Guide to Food During ACL Festival

For those of us past a certain age, there is nothing closer to hell on earth than the prospect of a music festival. And I’m defining certain age loosely here.

I’m not even 30 and the idea of spending all day in the sun exposing my precious collagen reserves to all those UV rays, getting sweated on by 19-year-olds so I can see a guy I know primarily as a Kardashian family attaché singing about his disdain for protected sex is frankly not how I want to waste these fleeting weekends of gorgeous October weather. The traffic Downtown alone is enough to make me want to run far, far away from this mess. So, for my fellow haters, a guide to some of the best places in town to avoid the madness of ACL Festival while you get your snack on.

(Calm down: We have a Lover's Guide, too.)

FRIDAY

Dinner: Staying away from ACL means getting out of your downtown rut, and let me tell you there are certainly worse things, especially when they lead you up north to some delicious Korean barbecue. We’re big fans of Charm Korean BBQ, which aside from being far-removed from all ZIlker-related activities, is also delicious and all-you-can-eat, so you’ll be satiated enough not to notice all that traffic coming back down I-35.

SATURDAY

Breakfast: Another out of the way favorite, New Fortune, is worth the haul for their delectable take on classic old-school hot cart dim sum. Go with a group and try to get one of every dumpling. We dare you.

Lunch: You’re probably still full from dim sum, so how about you pair lunch with a hike. The Turkey Creek Trail has the perfect combo of easily fordable streams, lots of shade, and places to sit down with a book and admire your surroundings. If you’ve managed to work up an appetite afterwards, stop by the nearby Ski Shores Cafe, where the ambitious members of your party can get burgers, and everyone else can look at the lake and drink beer. Oh, and there's also OCL – Outside City Limits – happening at Vista Brewing on October 6 only.

Dinner: Since you’re up here anyway, why not finally stop by County Line for some good old Texas-style barbecue? Stick to the all for one, one for all model that worked out so well for you at dim sum and gorge yourself on one of their family-style combos with your crew.

SUNDAY

Breakfast: You can’t get any further from the madness of ACL than a library on the side of the road backing up against a cemetery in Georgetown, of all places. And this particular library contains the Hit the Spot Cafe, where you can further compromise your arteries with some of the most delicious chicken fried steak this ‘burb has to offer.

Lunch: You’ve had a lot of meat this weekend, so why not take it to the vegetable kingdom for your last lunch before you triumphantly return to downtown Austin? Citizen Eatery has one of the most comprehensive veggie burger selections in town, including a spiced assam burger and a barbecue “pulled plant” sandwich. After the morning you’ve had, your stomach will thank you.

Dinner: Just because you’re not enamored with ACL doesn’t mean you don’t know how to have fun. End the weekend on a festive note with a celebratory meal at Kura Revolving Sushi Bar, where you can pretend you’re in Tokyo as you snap crunchy tempura rolls off the rotating conveyor belt and feel grateful that your city only gets taken over by rabid music fans one weekend a year. Oh wait.