FEATURED CONTENT
 

columns

The Luv Doc

Real Swinging Versus Imagined Swinging

Real Swinging Versus Imagined Swinging
LuvDoc,
My wife and I have been spending a lot of time with a fun couple she met through her spinning class. We really like spending time with them but we think they might be swingers. When we go out to dinner they always make allusions to sex, etc., and it makes us a bit uncomfortable. They’re fun people who don’t have any kids and live in a condo Downtown. We’re afraid they are going to take it too far some night and ruin our friendship. What should we do to make it apparent to them we’re not into that type of thing and still maintain our friendship?
- Skittish

Skittish … this isn’t a huge problem. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe you end up in a gimp suit with a ball gag in some redneck gun store basement? OK, I’ll admit that’s a pretty ugly scene, but what if it was something less dramatic? What if you have dinner at their place and after a few bottles of expensive wine you end up doing a seductive pole dance in their boom-boom room? What’s the harm in that – well, other than having the video posted on Facebook? For all I know, you might be an awesome pole dancer and get like a million hits or something anyway. Point is, you might all end up in a huge, greasy, writhing fuckball someday, but right now you don’t know and there’s no sense giving it any thought until they actually pop the question. You’re just stressing over something that doesn’t even exist – like God or mathematics. I can tell you one thing: You dropping coy hints that you’re not a bottom or that your wife’s not into rug munching is only going to further titillate your friends if they are swingers, and make you look silly if they’re not. My suggestion to you is to enjoy their company – which you clearly do - and not worry about whether they have a dungeon with a spin fuck harness, a grease gun, and a hamster habitat. It’s really none of your business anyway – well, at least until they ask you to pick out a hamster.

Need some advice from the Luv Doc? Send your questions to luvdoc@austinchronicle.com, or check out the Luv Doc Archive.

share
print
write a letter