Poor John Edwards. First he has to deal with the bullshit Catholic League faux-controversy, and now we see his campaign headquarters in the alternate-reality game Second Life (basically, The Sims meets the Lawnmower Man) was vandalized by virtual Republican toughs. Let's see, there's some commie posters, him in blackface, a giant rainbow-penis thingy, and that huge doo-doo starfish hovering above it all.

Can you imagine Lincoln or Washington planning for this type of thing?

This SXSW band/blog/wristband blow-up keeps generating all sorts of juicy tabloid yuks for people with way too much time on their hands, as Chronicle captain Louis Black stokes the flames in this week's "Page Two" and Austinist still has plenty to say, of course. It's even spilled over to our politically minded sister blog Chronic, where on the comment thread of the "South by Oh Snap!" post, TCB discovered this little gem courtesy of one "nad lover":

"I rather talk about Chris Grey's balls…he's dreamy!"


He always thought they were rather nice himself, but spelling aside, TCB is so overcome with pride he can hardly type. This must be what it feels like to be Kid Rock or something.

If we may direct you to one of two brief features this week - coinciding nicely with our South by Southwest Interactive coverage - here's Austin blogger Amanda Marcotte on her two weeks under assault from the right-wing noise machine. After successfully steering the popular lefty blog Pandagon, she was asked to run the campaign blog for John Edwards, but ... well, you can read the rest for yourself. Just be glad the mighty Wurlitzer doesn't sound for you.

Once you're done with that, check out this longer piece Marcotte wrote for Salon. For a sympathetic but contrary view on Marcotte's hiring, there's more here.

Fascinating stuff to be sure. Our thanks again to Marcotte for her words and participation.

… if you want a SXSW wristband and somehow didn't sign up for their SMS messaging service. Wristbands went on sale at Waterloo Records around noon today, and if previous years are any indication, they will be gone by close of business if not sooner - last year they sold out around 6pm. Though the first round, limited to Austin residents only, is probably gone, you might want to bring a current driver's license, utility bill, or similar proof of ZIP code, just in case. And some money that folds: That'll be 160 clams, please.

Partiers, art and culture freaks, patrons of the Big Easy, the hurricane of all charitable party causes is upon us. According to the Associated Press, the city of New Orleans has started an online and text-message fundraising campaign to help pay for its annual Mardi Gras celebration. It's too late to get in on the hardcore revelry this year, as Carnival season peaked Feb. 20 with Fat Tuesday, but that doesn't mean the well for giving to the mother of all U.S. Carnival celebrations has run dry. The campaign's goal is to generate $1 million by Carnival 2008. Cell-phone users with PayPal accounts can donate by texting a code and a dollar amount to a specified phone number. To donate online, go here and click on "Mardi Gras Sponsorship & Support Program."

In a baffling week for war-watchers, British Prime Minister Tony Blair announced the UK will be withdrawing 1,600 of its 7,100 troops from Iraq. At the same time, Prince Harry is being sent out to fight there. As the experts say, huh?

Blair, unlike President George Bush, seems to have worked out that no one in the UK backs the war in Iraq. His Labor Party is facing a vicious election in the next year, and even though he's standing down from Parliament, the party may lose because of his inheritance. So, time for a quick policy switch.

The British Army has been picking up a lot of slack in Afghanistan and needs 1,000 more troops there - troops to be freed up from Iraq. There's still a sliver of support for that war, so he's trying to salvage the last of his reputation. After all, he's still young, and it's speculated he'd like to be either European Union president or UN secretary general.

So if the British Army is pulling out of Iraq, why is the man third in line to the throne being sent out to the front line?

The New York Times reports today that Habitat for Humanity has been criticized for taking too long to build homes along the Gulf Coast after the '05 hurricanes.

Yes, the charity Habitat for Humanity. Apparently, a charity building 1,000 homes by the second anniversary of Katrina isn't enough for some people. Yes, it's tragic that people made homeless 18 months ago still don't have a place to settle down, but why blame Habitat for Humanity? Isn't this the kind of thing that the government should be doing and should have been doing since Katrina and Rita hit?

This is the second recent major instance of private donations picking up the slack for a government failure. When presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and John McCain paid rousing tribute to the new military rehabilitation facility at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, why weren't they railing about the fact that it was paid for by private donations? Or that this was a new home for the established facility at the Brooke Army Medical Center, rather than an extension of services? Shouldn't rehabilitation of wounded service personnel be the responsibility of the Pentagon?

Just why, exactly, are the federal and state governments not being dragged over the coals daily for the failed reconstruction along the coast and the underfunding of veteran's rehabilitation?

Because they probably don't really know what they're talking about. Exhibit A: Rep. Todd Akin, R-Missouri, actually uttered this bit of nonsense last week while defending Bush's troop surge in Iraq:

"Could you picture Davy Crockett at the Alamo looking at his BlackBerry getting a message from Congress? 'Davy Crockett, we support you. The only thing is we are not going to send any troops.' I’m sure that would really be impressive to Davy Crockett" (video here).

Aside from the BlackBerry part – too easy to hit the fish in that barrel – Akin's reference makes him look like an idiot because 1) Texas didn't join the United States until 1845, nine years after the battle, so Congress wasn't in much of a position to do anything about it; and 2) Akin's quote is pretty close to what actually happened: The Alamo commander, Col. William Travis (not Crockett), sent a letter to Gen. Sam Houston asking for reinforcements, and Houston denied the request because his army was not yet strong enough to send aid.

I'm guessing if Akin's historical knowledge is that poor, he probably doesn't know the rest of the story, so for his benefit: The Texans (actually, "Texians") lost the battle, but Sam Houston's judgment to continue building his troops later led to victory over the Mexican Army.

Really, we don't have enough to deal with here at the Chronicle. There's our new music blogs, which we do hope you're enjoying (or at least reading). There's something called "SXSW" next month that they tell us is kind of a big deal. There's this newspaper we somehow manage to put out every week. Speaking of putting out, so when TCB is looking forward to a quiet weekend in Houston for his dad's birthday, the first thing his brother tells him is that walking train wreck and former TCB crush Britney Spears has shaved her head. He knows what you're thinking: "Why, God, why?" Funny you asked…