Election Night Returns: We've Only Just Begun

Long lines and voting machine glitches assured that Tuesday night would be a slog for Travis County primary candidates. In the end, the only county races on the May 24 run-off ballot will be in Precinct 1 (commissioner and constable; see right for results).

Bernie Sanders may have lost Texas, but he won Travis, beating Hillary Clinton, 51.4-48.2%, perhaps unsurprisingly, given that his most loyal demographic – young, white, progressives – is in ready supply here. On the GOP ballot, the reanimated corpse of Joe McCarthy, beloved Senator Ted Cruz, just beat Floridian Marco Rubio, 30.4-29.3%. The deflating Macy's parade balloon that is Donald Trump came in third, with 25.4%, although he did come in second in the state.

While several members of the Texas Lege held on to their seats, for now, including House Speaker Joe Straus and his bête noire Jonathan Stickland, notorious hater Molly White lost to challenger Hugh Shine – we won't miss you, Molly! In an upset, former Texas Rep. Lon Burnam did not make it to the run-off for Railroad Com­mis­sioner; instead his lesser-known rivals, Grady Yarbrough and Cody Garrett, will advance.

In Travis County, the GOP establishment received a nasty surprise in the form of the election of JFK conspiracy theorist and breast enthusiast Robert Morrow to Travis County Republican Party Chair. Vice chair Matt Mackowiak, reacting to the news, wrote on his Facebook page, "Robert Morrow will be a cancer on the Republican Party, not just for Travis County, and not just in Texas." Responding indirectly to Mackowiak and company during an interview with the Texas Tribune, Morrow said, "Tell them they can go fuck themselves."

Jan Soifer, who beat Melissa Mather to become 345th District Judge, didn't have time to stop to celebrate her victory; she's in D.C. for the week, arguing the HB 2 case before the Supreme Court (see "HB 2 Oral Arguments"). Brad Urrutia won the 450th Judicial District nom over Chantal Eldridge, and Tamara Needles took out 427th Judicial District incumbent Jim Coronado.