TV Eye

Ellen DeGeneres bends over to pet a dog that isn't there.

I like Ellen DeGeneres. I like kids. I like dogs. I'm particularly fond of animals that do double duty – Seeing Eye dogs, helper monkeys, and even cats. A friend of mine told me how her cat sat on the edge of her mother's bed as she suffered from congestive heart failure. Their doctor had sent them home and told them nothing was wrong, but the cat knew better and never left the woman's side.

Thanks to YouTube, I got to see DeGeneres' recent meltdown over a canine adoption gone wrong. Thanks to cable news and the Internet, I got to hear about this "drama" over and over again, and hear about the death threats to Marina Baktis, who runs Mutts & Moms, the canine rescue service where DeGeneres got Iggy, the dog that DeGeneres eventually regifted to her hairdresser and her children. When Mutts & Moms checked in on Iggy and found out what DeGeneres had done, they informed her she'd broken the terms of her contract. Mutts & Moms retrieved Iggy from his new home, sending DeGeneres to her daytime talk show sobbing for forgiveness. She begged for Iggy to be returned to his family. Oh, the pain her mistake created, DeGeneres conceded, looking like Tammy Faye Baker minus the river of mascara streaked down her face.

When I saw DeGeneres I almost cried, too, but for an entirely different reason.

Earlier in the day I was on the bus. A man who had obviously been living on the street for a while got on. He smelled of old sweat, car exhaust, and urine. He sat down and while no one said anything, it was clear to everyone, including the homeless man, that he was foul. He was only on the bus for three stops, which to be honest, was a great relief. As the homeless man exited, he tried to ask the bus driver in a low voice, "Do you know where a man can go and get cleaned up?" The bus driver was annoyed and said something about the river (Lady Bird Lake) being behind us and maybe he should jump in it. The homeless man raised himself to his full height, conjuring up a few words in self-defense, but it was too late. His dignity was injured beyond the already humiliating circumstance of knowing he smelled worse than a farm animal.

If only that homeless man were a dog. That way, someone could rescue him, feed him, clean him, and give him to a nice woman like DeGeneres, who will sign a paper promising to treat him well. Maybe DeGeneres would let him sleep on her bed, but more than likely he would have his own bed, special food just for him, a nice park where he can play, and if he were small enough, a carrier bag made especially so that DeGeneres and he would never have to be apart. And if they ever had to be apart, she could board him in a special place, where he could be groomed and get plenty of food, water, and exercise.

Yes, it's quite unfortunate that DeGeneres did not read the fine print of the contract she signed, but I find it hard to feel the depth of her pain. By definition, a pet is a domesticated animal kept for pleasure rather than utility. When did pets become valued over people?

Where were DeGeneres' tears, for example, when President Bush vetoed the expansion of the State Children's Health Insurance Program? Unfortunately, that's not a program for dogs but for children to receive health insurance. Bush vetoed it on the grounds that the income level for potentially eligible families was too high. Earning too much to receive Medicaid but still unable to afford private health insurance – that's not living large, that's living in fear of an unexpected crisis. To be fair, wealth may be relative, but that's not the point. Rich or poor, sick children aren't nearly as cute and cuddly or worthy of rescue as dogs.

Here are some other things that aren't as cute and cuddly as rescued dogs: families split apart by the anti-immigration hysteria; more money spent on bombs than on books for our public schools; the elderly on fixed incomes having to choose between food and medicine; the fact that two years after Hurricane Katrina, parts of that city – the poor parts of that city – are still in ruins. The list goes on.

I pick on DeGeneres not because she has a soft spot for animals but because she has an electronic soapbox that garners her immediate attention. When given the opportunity, she cries for a dog. Yes, I know people and their pets have a special bond, but please. Has this nation's capacity for navel gazing become that myopic?

If so, that really makes me cry.