TXRG: Barbarella Speaks

The Texas Rollergirls should have put a trash can by the door to Playland Skate Center on Sunday night. And on that trash can, they should have put a sign, and that sign should have read, "Dump expectations here."

After the warm-up/tune-up of last month's season opening round robin, it looked like there was a pretty clear heirachy: The Hotrod Honeys were the team to beat, the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers were top challengers, closely followed by a much-improved Hustlers, while the Hell Marys had a lot of soul-searching to do.

Instead, the Hustlers lived up to all their potential and handed out a 76-37 beat-down to the Heartbreakers. Meanwhile, the Marys couldn't exactly play giant killers, but their 80-35 loss to a hard-hitting Hotrods showed there's no counting them out yet.

Hustlers' multiple threat talent Barbarella explained briefly why everything has changed for her team.

For the Hell Marys/Hotrod match-up, it was a game of two halves. In the first period, the plaid-skirted Marys couldn't hold the Honeys completely at bay, but they weren't screeching off unchallenged into the distance. The formidable front wall of Ryder Down and Lady X, often complimented by new recruit The Angie-Christ as a sweeper, locked the pack down, leaving the Honeys only able to jump ahead in fits and starts. Unfortunately for the Marys, they had their own difficulties, taking nine jams before they could put any points on the board (courtesy of Flame'n'Rage.)

Since a win is always just getting one more point than the other guy, coming into the second period trailing only 18-27 left the Marys well within striking distance. But even with Rice Rocket not playing and Morphine injured out, the Honeys had Lucille Brawl, Vicious Van GoGo and Misti Molotov on the jammer line to ratchet up the points. Throw in a blocking roster boosted by the addition of Dilla, and I Candye's grasp of pack dynamics, and it's no surprise they stole the show.

That said, there's nothing about the Marys to laugh off, especially with Angie seeming to improve with each successive jam.

But the big upset of the night was the Hustlers breaking an at-home losing streak to other TXRG teams that goes back to the 2007 season. How did they do it? Being able to cycle through a six-jammer rotation didn't hurt at all, allowing them to keep the big point scorers like Das-It (who had the sense of mind in one jam to call it even as she was falling to the floor,) Barbarella and Curvette fresh and rested. The Heartbreakers are no slouch in the jamming department, but with the Hustlers fielding Bullet Tooth Tracy in the pivot's striped cap, Olivia Shootin' John and Yellow Die were slogging for every point.

It seemed like the Heartbreakers' evening was done when Mary Lou Threaten did what looked to be a horrible face-plant on turn three (one of a larger-than-normal list of injuries on Sunday.) Mercifully, she returned to jam again, but it wasn't enough to top whatever it is that the Hustlers have been sprinkling on their Wheaties.