The Making of a 'Big Shot'

Cheer Up Charlie's premieres Christeene's startling new video

The Making of a 'Big Shot'
Screen shot from Big Shot video

Although rarely discussed today, the CIA began a program in the Seventies to record thousands of everyday conversations – ostensibly in an effort to understand the countercultural insurgency then sweeping the nation. One of those recordings apparently featured beloved local musical slattern Christeene.

Using a Freedom of Information Act request and a cache of unused Ho-Hos, the Gay Place is finally able to publish the transcript – a rare glimpse behind the dirty pillows of Austin's skeeziest star.

Margaret Vale: Christeene, you haven't touched your apple cake.
Christeene: It gives me pimples, Mama.
MV: Pimples are the Lord's way of chastising you.
Christeene: [long pause] Mama?
MV: Yeah.
Christeene: Mama, please say that I've got t-to try and get along with people better.
MV: [giggle] What are you going on about, Christeene?
Christeene: I've been invited to a video premiere.
MV: [long pause] Video premiere?
Christeene: Yeah, a video premiere. Everyone's goin' …
MV: It was that director that called, wasn't it?
Christeene: Please see that I'm not like you, Mama, I'm funny. I mean, all the kids think I'm funny, and I don't wanna be. I wanna be normal, I wanna start to try me, a whole person, before it's too late for me to.
[The sound of liquid being thrown at a face, possibly Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid]
Christeene: His name is PJ Raval, and he's a very nice boy, Mama.
MV: No.
Christeene: And he promised to come in and meet you …
MV: I said no.
Christeene: … and he'd have me home by midnight and …
MV: No, no, no, no!
Christeene: I've accepted, Mama! I accepted it!
MV: Go to your closet.
Christeene: No!
MV: [pause] After all you've been taught, Christeene?
Christeene: Everyone isn't bad, Mama! Everything isn't a sin!
MV: Go to your closet and pray, ask to be forgiven.

Chilling.

Christeene and PJ Raval present the Austin premiere of the "Big Shot" video tonight at Cheer Up Charlie's. 8:30-10:30pm. Free.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More Event
Add a Little Bit of Spice: Austin Area Fall Events Roundup
Add a Little Bit of Spice: Austin Area Fall Events Roundup
A harvest of fun fall events and activities for you and your family

Oct. 11, 2023

Austin July Events Guide
Austin July Events Guide
The fun isn't over yet. Summer is just getting started.

Cassie Arredondo, June 28, 2018

More by Brandon Watson
Does Farm-to-Table Still Matter?
Does Farm-to-Table Still Matter?
What happens to a trendy movement once the buzz dies down

Jan. 17, 2025

My Obsession: Therapy With Nineties Supermodels
My Obsession: Therapy With Nineties Supermodels
Escape via the long gay tradition of diva worship

Sept. 15, 2017

KEYWORDS FOR THIS POST

Event, Christeene, PJ Raval, Gaylebrities, Happenings, queer, LGBTQ, video, Big Shot, Paul Soileau

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Keep up with happenings around town

Kevin Curtin's bimonthly cannabis musings

Austin's queerest news and events

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle