Power Playbill

Likely after a few fingers of holiday cheer (or a round or two of bad stuffing), a local politico sent in this mind-blowing play concerning the city manager search. Unbuckle the belt another notch and take a look:

Six members of the council: So Betty, what do you think? You're the only council member who we all trust and respect.

Betty Dunkerley: I think we need to hire internally, since we're going into a two-year election cycle, and I don't think any of you want a new city manager whom we don't really know to be a wild-card in your races, right?

Jennifer Kim: I do! I do!

Everyone else: Shut up, fool.

Dunkerley: Which also means we need to hire now so that Laura Morrison can't run on this issue, even though she'll probably win anyway, because Cid Galindo is a cartoon character, and Robin Cravey is a flake.

Kim: But I want to run on this issue! It's all I've got!

Everyone else: Shut up, fool.

(Kim exits in tears and fires one of her staffers.)

Will Wynn: So can we get this all done before my photo shoot for the "Green, Hot and Blue" issue of Details? Who are we hiring?

Dunkerley: Well, Rudy Garza is too young, and Juan Garza is too old, so I'd say Huffman.

Mike Martinez: Too young?

Lee Leffingwell: Too old?

Dunkerely: Rudy's already got a mistake on his résumé with the whole Bob Hodge deal, so when he makes another one, the Statesman will be all over his rear end whispering that he's too inexperienced for the job. Juan's boring and predictable, but if you hire him, he'll never leave. He'll retire as manager long after y'all are off the council. Is that what you want?

Martinez: Hell no! When I'm mayor …

Leffingwell: [roused from mini-power-nap by Martinez's exclamation point] Wait your turn, homie.

Brewster McCracken: [stops playing with his new iPhone and laughs his odd little laugh] The important thing is that the new city manager makes us look good instead of bad. We all know that. [Repeats this exact phrasing several times.] Does Laura know that?

Dunkerley: Well, let's ask her. Laura?

[Laura Huffman enters. It is clear she's been listening at the door this whole time.]

McCracken: Will you do all the hard work and make it look like the council has a vision for the city even though we don't?

Huffman: Why, yes.

Martinez: But will you also be suitably deferent so that people who want something done come to us and not directly to the manager so that we can get the credit?

Huffman: Why, yes.

McCracken: I'm sold.

Martinez: I'm sold.

Fin