Power Playbill

Imagining what the city manager search is looking like?

Likely after a few fingers of holiday cheer (or a round or two of bad stuffing), a local politico sent in this mind-blowing play concerning the city manager search. Unbuckle the belt another notch and take a look:

Six members of the council: So Betty, what do you think? You're the only council member who we all trust and respect.

Betty Dunkerley: I think we need to hire internally, since we're going into a two-year election cycle, and I don't think any of you want a new city manager whom we don't really know to be a wild-card in your races, right?

Jennifer Kim: I do! I do!

Everyone else: Shut up, fool.

Dunkerley: Which also means we need to hire now so that Laura Morrison can't run on this issue, even though she'll probably win anyway, because Cid Galindo is a cartoon character, and Robin Cravey is a flake.

Kim: But I want to run on this issue! It's all I've got!

Everyone else: Shut up, fool.

(Kim exits in tears and fires one of her staffers.)

Will Wynn: So can we get this all done before my photo shoot for the "Green, Hot and Blue" issue of Details? Who are we hiring?

Dunkerley: Well, Rudy Garza is too young, and Juan Garza is too old, so I'd say Huffman.

Mike Martinez: Too young?

Lee Leffingwell: Too old?

Dunkerely: Rudy's already got a mistake on his résumé with the whole Bob Hodge deal, so when he makes another one, the Statesman will be all over his rear end whispering that he's too inexperienced for the job. Juan's boring and predictable, but if you hire him, he'll never leave. He'll retire as manager long after y'all are off the council. Is that what you want?

Martinez: Hell no! When I'm mayor …

Leffingwell: [roused from mini-power-nap by Martinez's exclamation point] Wait your turn, homie.

Brewster McCracken: [stops playing with his new iPhone and laughs his odd little laugh] The important thing is that the new city manager makes us look good instead of bad. We all know that. [Repeats this exact phrasing several times.] Does Laura know that?

Dunkerley: Well, let's ask her. Laura?

[Laura Huffman enters. It is clear she's been listening at the door this whole time.]

McCracken: Will you do all the hard work and make it look like the council has a vision for the city even though we don't?

Huffman: Why, yes.

Martinez: But will you also be suitably deferent so that people who want something done come to us and not directly to the manager so that we can get the credit?

Huffman: Why, yes.

McCracken: I'm sold.

Martinez: I'm sold.


Got something to say on the subject? Send a letter to the editor.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More City Council
Inching Toward Higher Heights to Get More Housing
Inching Toward Higher Heights to Get More Housing
Advocates for low-income tenants urge a go-slow approach

Maggie Q. Thompson, June 13, 2022

Council Recap: A Balanced Budget, Without Much Drama
Council Recap: A Balanced Budget, Without Much Drama
But many hours of deliberation over two days on the dais

Austin Sanders, Aug. 13, 2021

More Will Wynn
Who's Gonna Listen to All These Totally Awesome AusChron Newscasts?
Who's Gonna Listen to All These Totally Awesome AusChron Newscasts?
Will Wynn's condo pitch, plus more

Wells Dunbar, Nov. 4, 2009

Goodbye Watson, Hello Rabago
Goodbye Watson, Hello Rabago
A climate-change changing of the guard

Katherine Gregor, March 31, 2009

More by Wells Dunbar
Top 10 City Council Stories
Top 10 City Council Stories
Dais and months

Jan. 6, 2012

City Hall Hustle: The Hustle Bids Farewell ...
City Hall Hustle: The Hustle Bids Farewell ...
To the beating hearts of a great city

Dec. 30, 2011


City Council, Will Wynn, Betty Dunkerley, Jennifer Kim, Brewster McCracken, Lee Leffingwell, Mike Martinez, Politics, City Manager Search, Thanksgiving, play, city manager

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Keep up with happenings around town

Kevin Curtin's bimonthly cannabis musings

Austin's queerest news and events

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle