The Luv Doc: Haircut!

Dear Luv Doc,

Tell me if I am crazy. I have been living with my boyfriend for about eight months. In that time, I have gained a little weight (about 10 lbs.), and I recently decided to get my hair cut short because I have had it long since college. During dinner last week, I announced this to him and he totally freaked out. He said he likes my hair the way it is and will be really mad if I cut it. He has been angry about it ever since. I don't mind that he is always telling me what to wear (I don't really care much about clothes) but my hair is MY HAIR and I want to cut it short – especially since it's so hot. I don't want to upset him, but I never tell him how to cut his hair, so why should he tell me? He thinks I am crazy to cut it. What do you think?

– Shawty

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I think you should shave your head. You'll be both cool as a cucumber and smooth as one, too! More importantly, you'll totally piss off your boyfriend who needs to learn when to keep his yap shut. You are not crazy. Far from it. You're right, it's hot up in this bitch. We should all be walking around wearing nothing more than talcum powder on our crotches, and yet, apparently society will grind to a halt if we leave a few pubic hairs on the couch at the dentist's office. THANKS, Queen Victoria.

But back to your situation, Shawty. While the hair thing is a bit troubling, I find it even more disturbing that your boyfriend is always telling you what to wear. Unless his name is Giorgio Armani and you penned your missive from a super yacht anchored off the Amalfi coast, your boyfriend needs to shut it. You wear what the fuck you want. You have to live in your body. He doesn't.

Now, I am not saying that what you wear can't occasionally be a topic of conversation. Ideally it would go something like this: "Wow, baby, that pink terrycloth romper is dope as fuck" or "I like those fur-lined blue camo Crocs so much I am going to get a pair myself." Only a future spousal abuser/war criminal/terrorist would say something critical about his girlfriend's clothing or her looks. That is like trying to bathe a cat. Nothing good can come of it.

What your boyfriend can say is that he fully supports any hair/clothing decisions you have made/are making/will make in the future. Why? Because a) he trusts your judgment in all things, and b) in the big picture, none of that shit really matters.