The Luv Doc: Titty Bar Lunch

Dear Luv Doc,

I have been dating a guy I met last fall on a dating website. He seems normal and is nice to me and very much a gentleman, but on our date last Friday, he casually mentioned that he had been to the Yellow Rose with a friend for lunch. I can see maybe going to a bachelor party at the Yellow Rose, but it disturbs me that I am dating someone who would go there for lunch. I am not a prude and nudity doesn't disturb me, but I can't think of a good reason someone would go to a strip club for lunch. Should I give him another chance or move on?

– Skeeved

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First of all, you need to get your terminology straight: In Texas, we call places like the Yellow Rose titty bars – and that "i" in "titty" is pronounced as a long e. Phonetically it's "teetee." And while we're at it, that's a soft "t" as well – more like "teedee bar." Just imagine Loretta Lynn trying to pronounce "teddy bear" and you're in the neighborhood. I know "teedee bar" sounds like a fetish club with a urination theme – especially when it's called the Yellow Rose. But this is Texas, and the Yellow Rose is the adorable nickname of the celebrated prostitute/ingenue who kept Santa Anna busy while the Texians were routing his army at the Battle of San Jacinto. Wow, who would have guessed I was going to work in some Texas history?

As for the titty bar, I can only say that I have never lunched there – although I have heard from reasonably reputable sources that their food is pretty good. I am not trying to be all high and mighty. I am not worried that I might get a pubic hair in my surf & turf. In fact, I challenge you to find anyone with pubic hair in a titty bar. If you do find a pubic hair on your food in a titty bar, you can be reasonably sure it was placed there on purpose and with great planning. Someone is sending you a message. That message is: The chef knows what medium rare is, so don't send your steak back because it's undercooked.

As for ditching your gentleman caller because of his predilection for lunching at titty bars, it sounds like you have already come to your conclusion. I can't honestly make a strong argument for or against this fellow based solely on one lunch at a titty bar. There may have been extenuating circumstances. If he's a regular, however, it's a fairly strong indication he is OK with giving his money to a place that profits primarily from the sexual objectification of women. Nice as he may be, that should make you a little bit uncomfortable. It's something that might manifest itself in uglier ways down the road, so by all means, share that discomfort with him. It can't be any more uncomfortable that getting a lap dance after a big meal, and you will surely learn something about him in the process.