SXSW Interactive Conference Quickies

We Can Has Cheez Sculpture?

Why not use SXSW to promote the release of a new cheese-flavored variety of Friskies brand cat food, and do so by displaying a 640-pound block of cheese that's been carved, by acclaimed cheese-carver Troy Landwehr of Wisconsin, into the shapes of famous Internet cats? And why not team up with Austin's own Short Bus Subs to provide free (and heavenly) grilled-cheese sammiches for Sunday brunch? This is what the chosen PR team must've asked themselves at some point, and followed it with the answer "Why not, indeed?"

Each Chronicle editor who let out a far-from-subvocal squee of delight upon reading the press release – and there were a few of us – agreed. But the reality of the situation – the cheese on the ground, if you will – didn't quite match up.

Note to self: 640 pounds of cheese is not as big as you think it's going to be; it's only about one-fourth the size of a Smart car. Note to Friskies PR: Sculptor Landwehr does excellent work, that's instantly obvious; but whoever let him (or urged him to) arrange the cats – Monorail Cat, Nora the Piano-Playing Cat, Toilet-Flushing Cat, and Standing Cat – in such a manner that thwarts the very essence of their memehood ....

Listen, people: Standing Cat is Standing Cat because he's standing in his iconic way; if he's standing some other way, if he's kind of leaning against a piano in a raffish (or whatever the intended effect was) pose, well, he's no longer Standing Cat, is he? No, he's not.

And Monorail Cat never looks to the side, goddamnit!

OMG, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!