Rancho No Tengo; Joe King Carrasco

Rancho No Tengo

Joe King Carrasco

"I'm the king of hillbilly crank!" declares methed-up madman dealer Poodie Rodriguez (Carrasco) just before the sheriff's car comes crashing through his speed lab's walls and all hell breaks loose. Naturally, dreadlocked Poodie's aspirations are dashed when he's sent to the big house. Once freed, girlfriend Tiffany is there to greet him with her own hopes and aspirations, which include cell phones, hot tubs, and buying a double-wide trailer from slippery Mariachi Johnny (Steamboat captain Crooks, as one of the highlight characters) and his horny daughter, Blanca. When Poodie and Blanca "break in" the trailer – named Rancho No Tengo, Spanish for "ranch I don't have" – Tiffany turns into Delilah, shearing the hapless fuckup of his vaunted dreads while he's passed out, then parking his van in front of an oncoming train. Ah, but all's well that ends reasonably well in this no-budget indie film written, directed, and starring Carrasco. Shot in real speed lab turf around Llano and San Angelo, Rancho No Tengo's shortcomings include muddy sound and continuity problems that don't take away from its scruffy, rebel-on-a-prayer charm. Not quite so effective is the movie's soundtrack, which comes off as a background pastiche of Carrasco's trademark Tex-Mex. Makes sense since there's no musical performance in the DVD, though a torn poster in Poodie's kitchen advertises Carrasco. Highlights include "Chasin' Simpatico" and "Because a Woman." It's the perfect soundtrack for a run to Laredo.