2) Robert Talton & Warren Chisum
Robert Talton claims that his gay-bashing mission in the Legislature is all part of God's plan, but evidence points to another sort of celestial body at work. We offer Exhibit A – The Secret Language of Birthdays – to show that Talton's narrow path in life was actually dictated by his date of birth. The authors of this astrological tome must have drawn inspiration from Talton in describing the personality traits of those born on June 27 (apologies to all who share a birthday with Mr. T.). Of course, the book simply confirms what we already knew about the Lone Star State's most demonized homophobe – that he is driven by a "rock-solid set of moral convictions" borne out of "highly personal rather than worldly" persuasion; that he is "inflexible," suffers from serious "tunnel vision" and that his "antagonistic manner" often provokes "less than sympathetic reactions" from those around him. (This is a guy who posts troopers outside his office door on gay lobby days.) For example, Talton's fellow House members recently dissed him good by killing his amendment that would have banned the placement of foster kids in gay or lesbian-headed households. As for the other Capitol homophobe, Warren Chisum, the zodiac book provides few insights into the July 4 psyche of this elfinlike granddaddy of gay-bashing legislation. Because of Chisum's courtly, soft-spoken demeanor, however, the Pampa rep is more likely to be forgiven for believing he's doing God's work. Or maybe Chisum's just working for Chisum. July 4 people, we're told, are prone toward "misplaced anger" that is "manifested in the course of a selfless cause." – A.S.
