After a Fashion

Former Austinite, the glamorous and exotic Chrysta Bell performs at the afterparty for Austin Film Society's premiere of David Lynch's Inland Empire.

PREMIERING I felt like Eva Perón on the balcony of the Casa Rosada, waving to my descamisados as I entered our box seat at the Paramount for Austin Film Society's premiere of David Lynch's new film, Inland Empire. Though in actuality I did not wave. I did indeed flash a big smile beneath my gigantic, fake Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses, which I bought for $6 in Mexico, as I slipped my black cashmere overcoat off and took my seat next to my old friend Gail. And sat and sat and sat. This very long film, moments shy of three hours, is so twisted and confusing that it has critics doing backflips trying to describe it. Three hours of stream of consciousness. I immediately pegged a reference to Mommie Dearest when character Nikki Grace, an actress, finds out she's getting the part in a movie that she wanted; she's sitting in a chair, kicking and screaming the name "Greg" – exactly as Faye Dunaway's character of Joan Crawford did. (It's so cruel to hear Faye Dunaway referred to as Dun Fadeaway.) I also caught the reference to Erich Von Stroheim's silent film Queen Kelly with Gloria Swanson and excitedly pointed it out to Gail. "Look! It's the same scene used in Sunset Boulevard!" I mention this only in trying to make some sense out of what I was watching. Mr. Lynch was in attendance and participated in a Q&A after the film. He introduced the illustrious former Austinite (now Santa Monican) Chrysta Bell, who is seen in the film and has one of her songs on the soundtrack. She came out and performed and later entertained at the afterparty at Lucky Lounge, starting her set by wearing a blindfold in homage to Mr. Lynch. I hung out with Austin Film Society Executive Director Rebecca Campbell, as well as the girls from Pink Salon, who introduced me to Mike Judge by saying, "He writes the fashion column, so you better be careful." Sorry, but I hate intros like that. I told Judge he was an original who need not follow anyone's standard of fashion. "Whew," he said. "I feel like I've been stopped by a cop who gave me a warning instead of a ticket."

SAG You know that Jennifer Hudson won the Screen Actors Guild Female Best Supporting Actor while losing major support in the foundation garment department. I love the big gals in their big dresses and great jewelry, but as Queen Latifah could tell you, the magic is in the undergarment. I'm only going to tell you that once, Jennifer. There were lots of goddess dresses on godless bodies and lots of DHOH (Did Her Own Hair). And you can tell Ellen Pompeo is new to this awards-show business; she still doesn't wear any make-up. Silly girl, the camera loathes that.

VALENTINE'S JEWELS Nothing says "I love you" like big, honkin' pieces of jewelry. There are gorgeous stones in unusual settings from master jeweler Kevin Heady at www.kevinheady.com… And of course, there are delights to soothe the soul at Anthony Nak jewelers – their Tree of Life pieces are exquisite. www.anthonynak.com… Clarksville Pottery has a dazzling array of pieces to swoon over (www.clarksvillepottery.com)… And you're sure to find some unexpected jewelry available at Forbidden Fruit (www.forbiddenfruit.com).

AGENDA Saturday, Feb. 3, 7-11:30pm, at various locations, Project Transitions presents Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?, a fundraiser in which 25 distinguished Austinites open their homes and host dinner parties for anywhere from five to 75 guests, who will then reconvene at Nest (1009 W. Sixth) for a champagne and dessert reception. Tickets are $100, and more details are at www.projecttransi tions.org… Thursday, Feb. 22, at the Mansion on Judges' Hill is the Power of the Purse Luncheon, put on by the Women's Fund of Central Texas, where they will distribute grants to nominated nonprofits involved in helping women and girls be more self-sufficient, including nominees such as Girlstart, GENaustin, Zach Scott, and Texas Hearing & Service Dogs. For more information about the Women's Fund, please contact Meagan Anderson at 472-4483 or [email protected].