Queer Queer Queer Movies

Todd Haynes, the man to meet

Hi homo fwends,

I've been busy living up to my Virgo nature by meticulously scheduling out my time for SXSW and getting so excited in the process.

So I wanted to let you in on screenings and film events that queers might really love… now, of course, this list is by no means comprehensive and represents only my own tastes and proclivities. This year there are precious fewer than last, but the selections are sweet.

Pasted below is my own SXSW must-see list and when I plan to see them (many of these films will be relatively easy to see, given that you arrive early to the venue and bring $10 with you, or obviously if you have a film pass or badge). Please check the SXSW pages of each film (I've link them to their titles) for additional screen times.

FRIDAY 13th:

7:30pm (Paramount) I Love You, Man The plot revolves around a groom-to-be looking for, and going out on "man dates", thanks New York Times, with prospective best men. Paul Rudd, we be crushin' on you, and by "we," I mean "me." This film may walk that fine line between the wink-wink nudge-nudge jokes revolving around homosociality, and jokes at our expense. It'll play fine to the crowd who will be hungry to see the film and anxious to get the festival underway.

I might just see The 2 Bobs instead (6:45, Austin Convention Center), but that's more gamer nerd than gay nerd. It's hard to separate the two sometimes. OK, most times.

SATURDAY:

7:15 PM (Alamo S. Lamar 3) Sissyboy This is the queerest thing in the festival. A documentary about a (sadly, now defunct) troupe of drag terrorists and genderfuck folks who travel the West Coast in an RV bringing radical queer realness to all the square homos. It is an engrossing and thrilling documentary (see K8's write-up in one of the upcoming paper editions) and is up for an Experimental Visions Award! It's a long shot but completely worth the schlep South to see. If I had a choice of one film to see, this would be it.

11:45pm (Alamo S. Lamar 3) Troll 2 Again, I'm not necessarily earning gay street cred with this pick but just watch this clip of all the worst scenes from Troll 2 and you'll understand why this might be the queerest film of the festival. Required viewing for those who want to see the documentary on Troll 2 called Best Worst Movie, see below.

SUNDAY:

The Lord's day, a day of rest. Are you kidding me? I reserve this day for hangover recovery! Healthy Choices.

11pm (Alamo S. Lamar 1) Bruno Sneak Peek So if you're a Sacha Baron Cohen fan, then you already know about his over-the-top queer Austrian (German?) fashionista alter-ego Bruno. Like Borat before him, Bruno has a new movie coming out and we get a sneak peek of it. Expect inappropriate Q&As with inappropriate people in the fashion industry. Eeep!

MONDAY:

11:59pm (midnight) (Alamo S. Lamar 1) Lesbian Vampire Killers YES!!!!! Ok this could be totally bad, it certainly doesn't seem very queer-centric, despite the title, but I am. so. excited. to. see. it.

TUESDAY:

1-2pm (Austin Convention Center 16AB) Conversation with Todd Haynes and Richard Linklater If there's one panel to see it's this one. Todd Haynes is my new queer cinema hero. He who directed the Jean Genet dream-poem Poison, and the oh-so-thinly-veiled AIDS trauma Safe, not to mention the Karen Carpenter biopic acted out with Barbies, Superstar, and the gay origin myth Dottie Gets Spanked. Todd Haynes is hardcore our people and deserves RESPEK! Y'all heard?

NOT WEDNESDAY:

Humpday for some reason is not being shown on Hump Day. Humpday, the movie seems like it might be something like I Love You, Man but mumbled. Or as the Chronicle's Jame Renovitch says, "A game of anal sex chicken." I am taking the day off.

THURSDAY:

1:30pm (Alamo Ritz 1) It Came From Kuchar If you don't know who George and Mike Kuchar are, you should, you bad bad homo. These filmmaking twins were John Waters before John Waters, Ed Wood after Ed Wood, and part of the queer underground film scene in the 1950s and 1960s. I mean who can forget such stunners as Sins of the Fleshapoids, Hold Me While I'm Naked, and Thundercrack. We owe our queer little lives to them, in a sense, as they gave us a template for re-imagining popular film conventions. Melodrama as queer affect, nudity as metaphorical transcendence. Go and pay tribute.

FRIDAY:

9:30pm (Austin Convention Center) Best Worst Movie See above. A documentary on Troll 2. Why would anyone make a documentary about such a horrendous movie? Why, indeed! 11:00pm (Alamo Ritz 2) Butthole Lickin' Lesbian feminists engage in analingus and then talk about it. OK, maybe this is the queerest thing in the fest. The short film is part of a longer midnight-holdtight-redlight shorts program that promises to be something akin to Spike and Mike's but with, you know, real people. I highly recommend you watch the trailer!

SATURDAY:

Get depressed about going-back-to-work-soon day. Yes, I need the whole weekend to process and mourn the end of SXSW.