"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated" – Mark Twain, Letter to New York Sun, 1897 Despite what's been seeded on the rumor mill, I have not been fired from the Chronicle. Or anything close. Amazing how those unconfirmed allegations do fly around during council campaign season!

There are many, many, many problems with Yahoo! News (like the way that crypto-fascist rants on a sub-literate open forum can, somehow, end up as a recommended news story). But today, the "Putting the yahoo into Yahoo!" award goes to whoever it is that writes their news headlines. The story was a balanced and well-written report of a study, to be published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences. In it, research is reported that indicates that glucose levels around the time of conception may have a role in zygote viability (as the article puts it, "While men's sperm determine a baby's gender, it could be that certain nutrients or eating patterns make women's bodies more hospitable to sperm carrying the male chromosome.") What was the headline that Yahoo ran? "Study: Mother's diet while pregnant may determine sex of child" Wow. So close, but so wrong. As seemingly perceived by Yahoo's sub-editors, having too few Krispy Kreme means a fetus will suddenly, mystically, switch from XY to XX.

Yep, it's true: After a 46-year journalism career, including 11 at the local daily, Austin American-Statesman Editor Rich Oppel is retiring. He will be replaced by Managing Editor Fred Zipp.

Here's a look back at what I wrote a few months after he first came to town. As you can see, we were pretty optimistic about his arrival. Too bad the Statesman never quite reached the level for which we'd hoped.

"He had many good qualities," David Simon said of the man the award he received last night was named for: newspaper titan William Randolph Hearst. He also noted Hearst "outran a bunch of 'em."

The other cable news networks are all set up in some major Texas city to cover the election, but of course Fox News is set up in College Station – home of the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library. Color us surprised.

(Hey Aggies: We got the Democratic debate; y'all got Fox News. We win!)

Just to follow up on the shitastic self-serving performance of uber-douche Tim Russert in the Democratic debate on MSNBC this week, Newsdesk really can't improve on this paean delivered to the fine folks at Media Matters. Click through to read the whole thing, but we'll leave you with the lede:

I suspect that truth may never get its boots on in reference to the job L'il Timmy Russert did last night. Since social climbers, courtiers, and people who think Don Imus is funny likely already have set the performance in marble, do let me just say in meek dissent that the man now stands revealed for the simmering tub of abject Fail he's always been.

"What if giant metal monkey beasts land on the Mall and eat the Capitol Dome? What will you do then, huh? HUH?"

"Will you take a pledge right now to make sure that Ayman al-Zawahiri never comes to the Vineyard and steals my newspaper off my lawn? Will you? WILL YOU?"

"Your pastor has praised somebody who said something odious -- Here, let me read you the most garish highlights -- and now will you REJECT him? Not denounce him. REJECT HIM?"

"In my hometown of Buffalo."

Oh, bite me, please.

This isn't journalism. I don't know what it is. Investigative collating, I guess. The next time MSNBC decides to treat us to 90 minutes of TV star dick-waving, it should advertise it as such, and then I could've watched Tennessee play Vanderbilt like I wanted to in the first place.

From the UT campus in the basketball gym where the debate will be held. I just finished watching an interview with a panel of women on the Clinton/Obama fight for the female vote, including City Council Member Jennifer Kim and local Democratic activist Lulu Flores.

I saw Candy Crowley at UT! I spotted the CNN news reporter gabbing on her cell phone, possibly giving an interview, on the balcony of the UT Recreational Sports Center, where Thursday's Clinton/Obama debate will be held. I know you're impressed. KVUE's Elise Hu was pretty excited about it, too.

CNN gave us media types a walk-through of the facility set-up this afternoon so that we'll know what to expect tomorrow. Now, before you get righteously jealous of us, know this: We aren't getting into the debate either. The only people getting into the intramural basketball court that has been converted into a debate hall (seating capacity: 2,000) are guests of Clinton and Obama, Texas Democratic Party and University of Texas bigwigs, and the 100 lucky souls who won the lottery TDP held. On the reserved seats up front, I spotted the names of former Lt. Gov. Ben Barnes, LBJ Library Director Betty Sue Flowers, Luci Johnson & Lynda Robb (LBJ's daughters), and various state senators and congressional reps, among many others.

We journalists? We'll be confined downstairs in the media filing room and an interview area that CNN calls "The Spin Zone." That's right – we'll be watching it on TV just like you. That includes the New York Times and Chronicle alike. They'll let our photographers in for a quick photo-op at the very beginning, and then they'll be hustled out of the room like so many groupies. Hmph!

As primary campaigns hot up, the tea-leaf reading gets more and more frantic, and the tiniest accident can look like deliberate planning by a campaign. So when campaigns book TV air time, is it hyper-targeted at individual audiences, or sheer accident. If so, what does it say about the audience the candidate is reaching out to?

In this wholly unscientific poll (i.e. sitting on the couch flicking the remote), Newsdesk noticed these airings in select slots on a cable channel near you.

The Daily Show - DA candidate Mindy Montford (Travis County DA candidate), Glen Maxey (running for Travis County tax assessor/collector), John Lipscombe (running for Travis County court at law no. 8)
The Today Show: Rosemary Lehmberg (running for DA)
MSNBC's Countdown: Hillary Clinton and John McCain
UFO Hunters on the History Channel: Ron Paul