Cruz Likey the Porn

Ted Cruz does not like this image, but @tedcruz certainly did

As Florida drowns, and the Pacific Northwest burns, this week Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz and notorious moral bastion became the toast of Twitter by giving a little heart to some porn spam.

On Sept. 11, his official account interrupted its normal flow of conservative cant by liking a tweet from @SexuallPosts, which included a hardcore clip from Moms Bang Teens 20. What was surprising was not just the like, but that it took Cruz’s press team several hours to notice that the internet was having a field day at their boss’ expense.

The surprise also extended to adult performer Cory Chase, who was hunkering down from Hurricane Irma when she was seemingly so popular in the Cruz feed. “So I hear I am trending with Ted Cruz,” she posted. “I am literally in the dark with hardly any access to the Internet world.” Chase later told the Huffington Post that she was upset that Cruz had watched the pirated clip for free and should instead have paid a subscription to production studio Reality Kings.

Of course, Cruz's office announced that they were investigating (trans: searching for a suitable intern to fire), with senior communications advisor Catherine Frazier stating that "the offensive tweet posted on @tedcruz account earlier has been removed by staff and reported to Twitter." That statement has raised questions about, not only what happened, but if Frazier knows how Twitter works.

Alas, the damage had already been done, as journalists around the world had a good excuse to spend the work day looking at porn. The New York Post noted the peculiar similarity between Chase and Cruz’s wife Heidi. Other outlets reminded readers that, back when he was Texas’ attorney general, Cruz unsuccessfully defended the state’s dildo ban.

Cruz has also tried to laugh off the like screengrabbed around the world. During a press briefing, he explained that many people on his staff have access to the account, and it was an inadvertent mistake. He even told NBC reporter Frank Thorp that "perhaps we should have done something like this during the Indiana primary," a reference to his final defeat before withdrawal from the 2016 Republican presidential primary.

That attempt to humanize Cruz through jokes about onanism has so far fallen flat. The most brutal response may have come from Craig Mazin, Cruz’s freshman year roommate at Princeton, who tweeted: “Now imagine Ted Cruz is doing this four feet below you in the bottom bunk bed. Yes, my misery very much appreciates your company.”