Gay Place

Jigglewatts' Coco Lectric (Photo by Jana Birchum)

WANT THEM?

I received a lovely e-missive from my buddy, "After a Fashion" columnist Stephen MacMillan Moser: "Dear Kate, As you know, I'm being neutered this week. It seems like such a shame to let such a large lovely set of balls go to waste. They've served me well, and I was wondering if you might like to have them? Not that you don't already have balls, figuratively, but now you can sport a pair of real ones ...." I get twerky emails like this and a gigantic grin spreads across my face like a very good bad rash, mildly offsetting my sadness that my pal is going through some rough waters. The holidays have us in their sights. There is no escape. You'll think of family. You'll think of the ones you love. Loved. The ones who loved you. The ones who said they loved you. The ones you lost. The ones you pushed away. And you will also think of awesome stuff. Like dreidels. Like figgy pudding. Like tamales. Like stars. Like elves. Like turkeys and turtles and troglodytes. Like the Calle Limon light show. Like gay bars with free meals. Like revolution now. Like love. So much love. I love you, buddy. Oh, yeah, and you readers, too; can't help but love you, too.

ON OUR GAYDAR

TEXAS EXES LGBT NETWORK HAPPY HOUR Hook 'em up with fellow cutie Q Texas Exes. Thu., Nov. 17, 5pm. J Black's, 710-B W. Sixth, 433-6954. Free. [email protected], www.texasexes.org/lgbt.

CINEKINK 2011 Smut City and F*Bomb bring this traveling tour of tantalizing treats – softcore shorts to get in your jorts. They promise these to be date friendly/hard-R as opposed to their regular X-rated fare. Thu., Nov. 17, 8pm. 29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth, 480-9562. $10 ($7, advance). www.cinekink.com, www.fbombforever.com/smut-city.

DJ BOOGAR WON Nah, you didn't lose the war on allergies. It's just a DJ. Thu., Nov. 17, 9pm. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport Blvd.

THE JIGGLEWATTS PRESENT 'DIRTY MARTINI AND THE NEW BURLESQUE' This traveling doc features NYC luminaries Murray Hill, the World Famous *BOB*, and Dirty Martini. The Austin stop spotlights Queertini Time and the rest of our lovely jiggly puffs! Fri., Nov. 18, 8 & 10:30pm. 29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth, 480-9562. $15, general; $20, VIP front-row cocktail tables. [email protected], www.thejigglewattsburlesque.com.

FINGERPISTOL AT RUSTY'S The Chronicle's own Luv Doc Dan, the sultry Suzee Brooks, and pals point that thing right atcha. Fri., Nov. 18, 9:30-11:30pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. www.fingerpistol.com.

BUSY TOWN GALLERY LAUNCH The East Austin Studio Tour Blue 20 Stop is the hairy-beast-cult-parlor-pirate-party featuring the artness of Aaron Flynn, Billy Beasty, and Annie Simpson. DJ Fine & Dandy (yours truly and GP blogger Andy) and Devaki Knowles aka Fun Loving Photos spin and snap. Sat., Nov. 19, 7-10pm. Maison d'Etoile, 2109 E. Cesar Chavez, 323/702-6061. www.facebook.com/busytownllc, www.eastaustinstudiotour.com.

MURDER SHE WROTE DJ Pauly P & Young Breezy spin for the Austin Harm Reduction Coalition. Sat., Nov. 19, 8pm-1am. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport Blvd. $5 suggested donation. www.austinharmreduction.org.

HOW TO STUFF A WILD TURKEY Lone Star Leathermen and drag family Castle LittleMore (of which, in the interest of full disclosure, this columnist is Honorary Mistress for Life) and MC Miss Kitty Litter host this grateful dragstavaganza to benefit the Mona Littlemore College Fund. Sat., Nov. 19, 9-11pm. Town N Country, 1502 W. Ben White, 445-9122.www.townncountry.co.

MISS DRUNK DIAL PAGEANT 2011 Who will be crowned the Queen of Urrrrrrrp? Only the judges (of which yours truly is one) will know fo sho. Fun and frolic with Emily, Jodi, Chainbow, and more. Sat., Nov. 19, 9pm. Volstead Lounge, 1500 E. Sixth, 680-0532.

SUNDAY FUNDAY A mere $5 gets you a heaping helping of beef or poultry plus all the fixings and drink specials. Sundays, 2pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002.

SHEGOTTA MUSTACHE MEMORIAL Austin Babtist Women salute the life of drag entertainer Greg Smith with what Greg would've loved best. Sun., Nov. 20, 6pm. Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth, 482-8993. $5 suggested donation. www.theironbear.com.

QUEERFUNK DISCOPUNK! Darlings Phatty Matty and Chainsaw Hammell powwow the slinging of drinks and tunes – a loverly a way to start/end your week. Sundays, 8pm-12mid. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport.

CAP CITY Q'S AUTUMN MAGIC Gay Place highly endorses this monthly gathering of friendly LGBTs (but no tease). Mon., Nov. 21, 7pm. Dragon Gate by Phoenix, 3801 Capital of TX Hwy. N. Ste. J-180, 732-7278. Free. [email protected], www.capitalcityqsocials.com.

MAIL ART WITH DANDY It's a craft night to 1) make and send cards to incarcerated queers and folks living with HIV/AIDS, 2) get crafty with new pals, and 3) stick it to the man. Tue., Nov. 22 during Thanksgiving week; otherwise, Wednesdays, 7-10pm. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport Blvd. www.bernadettesbar.com, www.austinchronicle.com/gay.

SCOTT KENNEDY The Gay Comedy Jam co-founder asked and told more than 40 times while entertaining our troops in Iraq. Wed., Nov. 23, 8pm; Fri. & Sat., Nov. 25-26. Cap City Comedy Club, 8120 Research #100, 467-2333. www.comicscott.com.

FREE THANKSGIVING BY ROSE It's a holiday tradition: home for the holidays, a meal with family. Thank you, OCH! Thu., Nov. 24, 2pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823.

THANKSGIVING POTLUCK BT provides the turkey. Dinner with the fam! Thu., Nov. 24, 2pm. 'Bout Time, 9601 N. I-35, 832-5339.