The Hightower Report

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The Cluelessness of Wall Street CEOs

This is going to sound silly, given the massive bailouts that Wall Street's financial giants are receiving from us taxpayers, but maybe we should take up a collection to buy a clue for the CEOs of these giants. Or maybe buy some ethics – do they sell those on eBay?

The latest outbreak of banker cluelessness comes from John Thain, who was honcho of Merrill Lynch until a few days ago. Merrill, which lost $15 billion in just the last three months of last year, was such a mess that it was taken over by Bank of America in a fire sale. Well, a fire sale underwritten by you and me – Bank of America was given $20 billion by the government to take Merrill Lynch, plus Uncle Sugar guaranteed another $120 billion-worth of bad investments that the two merged entities have on their books.

In the midst of this embarrassing collapse and bailout, what was CEO Thain doing? Redecorating his office. Nero might have fiddled as Rome burned, but Thain went shopping while Merrill imploded. He spent $1.2 million last year to spiff up his executive nest, including paying $87,000 for a rug and $68,000 for a credenza.

But he also focused on important personnel matters, such as trying to weasel a bonus of about $30 million for himself – a tidy reward for presiding over the demise of his bank and the loss of jobs for thousands of his employees. Board members balked at this, however, so Thain didn't get the money, but he did rush out end-of-year bonuses to other top executives – just before the bailout money was paid.

Thain's excesses were too much for his overseers at Bank of America, so he was forced to resign. As a pampered prince of Wall Street, however, his downfall will be cushioned by millions of dollars in severance and retirement money – and he still won't have a clue about what a greed head he is.

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Grumpy Bushites

After the inauguration of the new president, Dick Cheney was grumpy. OK, he's always grumpy, but this was grumpier than usual.

What irked Dick was that his buddy Bush had not pardoned the convicted felon Scooter Libby, who had served for years as Cheney's political hit man. "I strongly believe that he deserved a presidential pardon," Dick griped the day after he and Bush left office.

Come on, Cheney – Bush had already commuted Scooter's sentence, so your boy never did a day of jail time. Besides, it's your own legal prospects you might want to focus on.

But the ex-veep was not the only grump after the inauguration. Some of George W.'s top staffers were PO'd by the new president's inaugural address. "There were a few sharp elbows that really rankled and I felt were not as magnanimous as the occasion called for," harrumphed longtime Bush crony Karen Hughes. "It was pretty clear he was taking shots," groused White House speechwriter Mark Thiessen. And Karl Rove, George W.'s vituperative political operative, vented that the speech was "a last angry frenzy" intended to malign Bush.

Oh, get a grip! The inauguration was not a farewell party for George. It was a major presidential transformation, and the people of America – and the world – wanted very much to hear Obama say clearly that he would make a sharp break from the autocratic, plutocratic, kleptocratic Bush regime.

Phrases like "restore science to its rightful place" and "we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals" were not "sharp elbows" – they were changes that the American people enthusiastically voted for and now expect Obama to deliver.

If the Bushites are unclear about how people feel about them, they should've heard the inaugural crowd's cheer of relief when George W.'s helicopter lifted off from the Capitol grounds to fly him out of town. He's gone! He's gone!

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For more information on Jim Hightower's work – and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown – visit www.jimhightower.com. You can hear his radio commentaries on KOOP Radio, 91.7FM, weekdays at 10:58am and 12:58pm.