TCB

Big Mac Attack

"What do you call a retired musician?" prompts Ian McLagan. What? "A corpse." The onetime Small Faces keyboardist and session man for the Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart is certainly doing his part to stave off the reaper. The first-wave Brit rocker is back briefly in Austin after playing a few dates in Northern California with pal David Lindley, and before he leaves for Seattle's Bumbershoot festival then Australia with Billy Bragg, he's wedged in a hometown date with his own Bump Band this Friday at the Saxon Pub. "I'm a rehearsing fool," he says. "I have to get my voice back so I can sing again." He's got a new solo album in the can and two new record deals to go along with it, one with highly respected European label Sanctuary, and another with U.S. indie Gaff, which will put out the disc in February. Sanctuary's recent 50-song Small Faces comp. bowed at No. 24 on the UK charts; McLagan marvels at the continuing popularity of the group some call the original mods. "We broke up too soon," he sighs. "We were always considered the underdogs. The joke is we sell more records now than ever." His own album is "not very rock & roll sounding," admits McLagan. "I was going to call it The Love Album because there's five love songs on it." The long settled local transplant remains in near-constant demand as a hired hand, hitting the studio lately with rootsy siren Shannon McNally ("an absolute pleasure"), Dixie Chicks muse Patty Griffin ("absolutely fantastic"), and alt.country prima donna Ryan Adams ("no focus whatsoever"). "I'd give it all up if I could have a steady gig with my band," he swears. "I really get the most fun out of writing and playing my stuff. Trouble is, there's no money in it. Yet."

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A Brand Apart

A new era for Austin City Limits the program and ACL the music festival dawned at a Four Seasons press conference Monday. The big news was that San Antonio telecommunications behemoth SBC Communications Inc. has signed on as sponsor for the next five years. The bigger news was that festival producer Capital Sports & Entertainment will co-produce the television show, beginning with next year's 30th season. CSE founder Bill Stapleton said the company would take the next several months to formulate a business strategy for the PBS staple and ways for the already-familiar ACL brand to become a household name. "Of course we respect the core of the show, but we want to think of ways to enhance it," explained Stapleton, adding that CSE's biggest impact would likely come in the marketing and merchandising areas, and that one project already on the drawing board is bringing ACL to HDTV. Meanwhile, longtime ACL executive producer Terry Lickona said the show is preparing to release some of its vast archives on DVD, and in continuing the recent trend of edgier, more eclectic bookings, Detroit darlings the White Stripes are close to confirming a date later this fall. As for the music festival, Sept. 19-21, the cost of a three-day pass increases to $75 Saturday, and producer Charlie Jones said one of the few glitches in last year's event, the intractably long food lines, had already been addressed by raising the number of vendors to around 80. A complete schedule for each of the festival's three days is now available at www.aclfestival.com.

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Games Hipsters Play

Eat your heart out, Friendster: The latest craze sweeping the hipster mecca of Williamsburg, N.Y., as reported in the Aug. 12 New York Observer, is staring contests. That's right, staring contests. Two party guests are sequestered in a booth and do their best to crack each other's stoic façade, as their images are projected via video camera to a nearby wall, where the remaining guests act as a de facto jury. Not surprisingly, this extremely low-budget form of entertainment springs from the demented minds of two ex-members of Austin punk rock absurdists the Adults. Former Adults Chris Deaner and Paul Ahern, along with friend David Avery, were looking for a way to liven up Ahern's 30th birthday party when they hit upon the old childhood road-trip standby, modified to accommodate the presence of onlookers. "It's thoroughly engrossing," enthuses Ahern. So far, contests have been wager-free, he says, and contestants are surprisingly good sports. "As far as I can tell, there hasn't been one hurt feeling," swears the ex-Adult. Though the Observer article says the trio is thinking about starting a company to cash in on the sudden interest in "ocular chicken," Ahern is mum on the subject, saying only that he'd like to stage some sort of Austin staredown when he visits in October. "Maybe at Club DeVille," he muses.

"The line to the bathroom was this long!" (Photo By Gary Miller)

UP THE BEACH

Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Farrell strikes a Jesus Christ pose during his band's headlining set at Lollapalooza last weekend, which proved, mediocre new album or not, that the quartet are still showmen par excellence. ("Three Days" was especially epic.) The afternoon also saw balls-out sets from Queens of the Stone Age and the Donnas, plus an ear-bending exhibition by Jurassic 5 DJs Numark and Cut Chemist. It was Audioslave who brought the house down, however, mixing Molotov cocktails like "Cochise" and "Gasoline" with -- no lie -- a spot-on cover of the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army."

Dance Hall Days

An old "TCB" friend from the Daily Texan days, now a location scout for area film and television productions, e-mailed Monday looking for the perfect Texas dance hall to film a commercial starring Don Walser. Here's what some folks at the Continental Club's Buck Owens birthday tribute recommended. ...

DAVID BEEBE, the El Orbits: "Saengerhalle in New Braunfels is kickass. Really nice. But I'm not really the best person to ask."

JANE BOND: "Probably Saenger. I only played there once, but it brings back good memories."

TED RODDY: "This place outside Wimberley [Fischer Hall]. It's like an old barn, or one of those meeting halls. Libbi Bosworth had her wedding there."

TERI JOYCE, Teri & the Tagalongs: "I'd have to concur on [Fischer]. But how many square feet are required? Otherwise, I'd say Ginny's [Little Longhorn]."

ROY HEINRICH: "The Chaparral, my home for the last nine years. The most real honky-tonk I've ever been in. The best dance floor in Austin, and the least used."

D.B. HARRIS: "The Twin Sisters, between Dripping Springs and Blanco. I did a private dance out there one time, and it's definitely the most rustic and authentic. Not very fixed-up."

SUSANNA VAN TASSEL/DIANNE SCOTT: [Said in tandem] "Gruene Hall."

Andrew W.K.

Of 'Wolf' and Man

Alternately reviled and beatified by critics, Michigan man-child Andrew W.K. is unquestionably one of the most articulate rock stars ever. He recently told Entertainment Weekly his new album The Wolf is "pure unadulterated triumph, unmitigated glory, absolute, complete euphoria, melodic ecstasy, and pure human victory." But what about some current hot-button issues?

THE KOBE BRYANT SCANDAL: "I ain't got nothing to lose (nothing to lose). Going to throw it away and talk to you. She looks good, she looks good." ("She Is Beautiful")

CIVIL WAR IN LIBERIA: "We're not gonna die, you can never kill us. We're not gonna die, you can never hurt us." ("Party 'Til You Puke")

BIG-MEDIA CONSOLIDATION: "We are a population, we are a factory. We don't do, but we never did anyway." ("I Love NYC")

CALIFORNIA'S GUBERNATIORIAL CHAOS: "We shoot without a gun, we'll take on anyone. It's really nothing new, it's just a thing we like to do." ("Ready to Die")

TEXAS' FUGITIVE DEMOCRATS: "We will never listen to your rules, we will never do what others do. Do what we want and we get it from you, do what we like and we like what we do." ("Party Hard")

Andrew W.K. plays the Mercury Wednesday, Aug. 20 with the Fags and Baux.

Slipped Disc

GOD DRIVES A GALAXY, Pale Blue Dot (StrangeLove)

SPACE COWBOYS: Pale Blue Dot is the second full-length from the Austin fourpiece. Its moody aesthetic and immersion-tank ambience make it an ideal fill-in for Dark Side of the Moon at a planetarium near you.

OK COMPUTER: The galloping tempo and suspended-animation interludes of "Time Traveler's Love Song" are reminiscent of Radiohead, but only if Thom Yorke's crew discovered a sudden fondness for Judas Priest.

THEY DON'T USE JELLY: Like the Flaming Lips' best efforts, the preponderance of effects swirling around "The American" and "Clone Jesus" fails to obscure the tenderhearted pop songs nestled snugly at the core.

ELECTRIC WARRIORS: GDAG adopts a bit of a T. Rex persona on "The Original," which flogs a hard-rocking glam riff right on out the door.

Release parties: Thursday, Aug. 14 at Stubb's with Spacetruck and Subset; nd Jupiter Records, Friday, Aug. 15, 7pm.