When is a budget raise not a budget raise?

When you're the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department.

Under its latest budget, the agency has $182 million extra for state and local parks. However, the guardians of Texas' wilderness have had their budgets slashed for years, including a 5% cut in 2006-'07, and while they're happy at the cash, it may not really mean any percentage increase.

"A percentage based on what?" said TPWD spokesman Tom Harvey. "The Legislature may be looking at the total budget, which includes lots of other stuff not directly related to operating the parks. This stuff always depends on how you look at the numbers."

The agency's finance officers are poring over the books, seeing whether the new requirements and one-off projects placed on them this session actually cancel out any raises. This all comes after the House Appropriations and Senate Finance Committee heard evidence about the TPWD budget that veered into farce. At one point, the agency was asking for help with transportation costs: They needed cash to buy old, unroadworthy cars off other agencies to cannibalize them for spare parts – in order to keep their own unroadworthy vehicles moving.

Personally, I've been having a blast this Pride. No complaints. Except for the fact that there is too much going on. And that it's all stretched across the entire month. Phew. But that's not really a complaint.

I will say this, however: Austin would be well-served to have a central Pride organizing council with a variety of reps from all different groups and all different walks of life. Like other cities.

But that would involve collaboration and cooperation. And the breaking out of shells. Hmmm. What an idea. End of sermon. Just sayin'.

Here's a slew of shots from this weekend. Forgive the random captioning of our photo galleries. We promise we'll get better at this. In the meanwhile, enjoy this slice of Pride's rich pageant.

Click on the gallery link above the photo for lots of pics from Pride 2007.

Sheesh, we cannot believe we missed the first one Monday at End of an Ear. Tragic. Well, at least there is one left and it's happening tomorrow evening.

Come feast upon your cultcha, queer Austin. The reissue of Two Nice Girls is nigh, and there are memories to be had and shared and made as Gretchen Phillips presents a night of "bonding," if you will, over Austin and the world's seminal lezzie-alt-folk-rock-phenom. If you are too young or too old to know what it was all about back when it was all about, come on down to the listening party and get your learnin' on.

Tuesday, June 12, 7pm at Whetstone Audio, 2401 E. Sixth on the groundfloor of the Pedernales Lofts.

New section added to the blog: Straight Celeb Crushes and How I Can't Talk to Them Even After Tequila Shots.

My glasses fog up as I walk from my car, and there are droplets of sweat running down my arms and legs. Humidity is a dog from hell. At least that's what the familiar swamp smell, the meshing of mud and plant, concludes. We had been told by a local this place was “down by the docks,” always a good sign, but as we approach the curious structure, “down by the docks” becomes something else altogether.

Jana Hunter, the night’s opener, sits behind a de facto merch table. “Oh, you’ve never been here?” she asks, eyes wide.

The Orange Show Center for Visionary Art in Houston was painstakingly built in isolation over the course of 25 years by former Houston mailman Jefferson D. McKissack, who found most of the objets d’art along his routes. While working in Florida during the Depression, he had an epiphany: the orange was the perfect fruit.

In a way, the Orange Show is dedicated to educating the rest of the world about it. Clowns, mannequins, plastic animals, and (real) spider webs dot the sweltering “museum,” a small room with signs reciting the rejuvenating effects of cold O.J. every morning, the purity of orange rinds.

I stepped into the Austin Convention Center, Saturday, June 9, and inhaled the sticky, boozy aroma. With only two matches left on the TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls's 2006-2007 calendar, I could taste the estrogen-laced sweat gliding beneath fishnet pantyhose. How does a rollergirl cope with the demands of the amateur-sport arena?

As I pondered these matters of strife and stealth, my attention was directed toward the center of the banked track, where the opposing teams prepared for this playoff match. As the Hellcats and last year's Calvello Cup Champions, the Putas del Fuego, shuffled about and stretched, I was bemused by the Hellcats' mascot, a grown man on all fours with a full-body leopard tattoo, wearing fluffy, pink cat ears and a chain around his neck attached to a leash. He kept attacking the referees and was eventually escorted off the track by his lovely lady master. The Hellcats' manager, a tall skeezy sort dressed all in black with the exception of a hot-pink neck tie and a hot-pink handkerchief (the Hellcats' uniforms are hot pink), paced madly about. He seemed to be the only one in the auditorium feeling the heat of the playoffs; then again, he seemed to have drank from the same milk bowl as the mascot.

Aside from pointing out the limitations of the transcribed-talking-head-as-news-dispatch format, this at-times cryptically worded missive from KXAN strives for the best in "gotcha" local journalism (not that such egg-faced reports could ever rival the current "emo exposé" sweeping local affiliates nationwide. Seriously, when did "emo" left turn from semirespectable indie rock into the dark realms of the visigoth?)

To wit:

"[A] document on the city's Web site, uncovered by a citizen researching the eviction of the popular Liberty Lunch nightclub from city property, cited a benefit of the eviction: '… more than 5,000 parking spaces, much of which will be available as free night and weekend parking to augment the parking needs of the surrounding warehouse and music district.'"

Oops! But here's the rub:

"In any case, paying or not paying for parking is a policy decision, and council members, not city staffers such as Jill Maness, make policy decisions."

Oh, snap!

(And seriously – in the YouTube era, why is KXAN using tired-ass Microsoft Video on their site, which won't load on the Mac? Innovate, people!)

Many thanks to Sharon Bridgforth and Jen Simmons for this exclusive and heat-inducing peek (click below) into their upcoming multimedia collab, "The love conjure/blues Text Installation", premiering this weekend at the Off Center. There are more clips on the lc/b website, but they made this one special for us. Oh, yes.

It has been waaaaaay too long since we have seen an SB performance. So you know we will be there with our sassiest bells on and would love to hear you ting-a-lingin' or clangin', as well.

This past Wednesday, the Austin Toros named Quin Snyder to be their new head coach. Snyder will take over for interim coach Dale Osbourne, who took the reins last February after the untimely death of Dennis Johnson.

Snyder is a former college basketball player and coach who helped lead Duke University to the Final Four in 1986, 1988, and 1989 before becoming an assistant under legendary coach and American Express pitchman Mike Krzyzewski. In 1999, Snyder became the head coach at the University of Missouri, where he led the fightin’ Tigers to four consecutive NCAA tournament berths before resigning in 2006. His record during his time in the Show-Me State was 127-91.

We won’t know the Toros lineup until the fall, but with any luck, coach Synder will have '06-'07 standouts B.J. Elder, Cheyne Gadson, and – my guy – Justin Bowen back to help guide him through the early, rocky months and get the team on track after a tough '06-'07 season. If not, I humbly offer my services. It would be a great honor for me to do my part to help the team, and despite what the scouting reports, conventional basketball wisdom, and simple common sense might say, I think if I just work a little more on my shooting, dribbling, passing, defending, jumping, and running, I’ll be ready for tip-off come November.