Leave it to the inimitable Kevin Smith to slip the word, if not an actual skin flick, into the grand lady of Austin theatrical venues: the Paramount Theatre. A screening of his new film Zack and Miri Make a Porno was the opening film at the fourth annual Fantastic Fest. Smith's simultaneously sweet and unsavory new comedy stars box-office king Seth Rogen and delightful Elizabeth Banks (who is soon to appear as Laura Bush in Oliver Stone's W.

China: Not a good place to take your car.

"Welcome to the official opening night of the Alamo South Lamar Drive-In," said Tim League, addressing an enthusiastic 100-plus crowd already primed on barbie-fied shrimp and liter upon liter of Fosters Lager (it's Australian for "Budweiser"). "I know that where you're sitting looks a lot like a fire lane, but trust me, this is all totally above board. And I also realize Hurricane Ike is threatening to show up and blow our beautiful Rolling Roadshow screen over, but please, Ike, just give us two hours to watch one of the greatest action movies of all time." And with that, the Alamo kicked off the first of several free-to-the-public events surrounding the now-monumentally awesome Fantastic Fest. Last Friday's Mad Max screening was just the first of a handful of films from down under being screened at Fantastic Fest 2008 but, along with its sequel The Road Warrior, which screens this coming Friday, it's one of the few that demands to be seen within the context of a drive-in-style outdoor venue. It worked, the crowd was psyched (especially Alamo co-founder Karrie League, who had never borne witness to the fuel-injected kickassery that is Mel Gibson's finest hour-and-a-half), and not even Ike's ominous westward rumblings could put a dent in the proceedings. Even cooler is the fact that, as League revealed to us post-Max, the former fire lane really and truly has been approved by the Austin Fire Department for use as a permanent, additional outdoor screening area. How cool is that? Cooler than a '73 Ford Falcon XB GT Coupe aka Max Rockatansky's V-8 Interceptor. Scorchingly so.

Holy free movies online, Batman! The Alamo Drafthouse and Fantastic Fest have announced that five feature films and six shorts will be streamed online via the BSide community, in their entirety, from Sept. 14-20. This is big news. Not only did badges for this years Fantastic Fest (Sept. 18-21) completely sell out ages ago, but we've seen five of the films they'll be streaming, and they rock. Hard. Like "Why are you stalking me, Mr. Famous French Gynecologist-in-a-motel room-from-hell?"-type rocking. Seriously, this is some mindwarping stuff they're coughing up for you here. As per the official press release, you'll need to sign up as a member of the BSide to view the carnage, and, of course, you don't get free popcorn or the chance to sit near Harry Knowles, but so what? This is free, baby! Here's a drool-worthy listing of what you'll be able to watch, for free, at home, totally in the nude if you so desire, for free: Dr. Infierno, I Think We're Alone Now, La Creme, Rule of Three, South of Heaven. More info. Did we mention this was free?

Without a doubt, it's a sucky time for a true indie film to get any kind of traditional distribution deal. There are a lot of people currently trying to rethink how to get those indies out into the world (and leading the vanguard is former South by Southwest director Matt Dentler). Also fighting the good fight? Filmmaking partners and SXSW regulars Ashley Sabin and David Redmon. Sabin and Redmon not too long ago founded Carnivalesque Films in order to continue producing and distributing their own films, but also to pick up and distribute other indie gems – what Sabin described in a recent e-mail as "great films that [are] usually RIP after the festival circuit." Carnivalesque first released Redmon's Mardi Gras: Made in China on July 29 in stores and at online rental sites, and now the company is distributing Orphans, a family drama which won the special jury award at SXSW 07 and is directed by Ry Russo-Young (she played Hannah's roommate in Hannah Takes the Stairs – and, honestly, who needs six degrees when you've got South By smack in the center?). Orphans will be released Sept. 30. In October, Carnivalesque will release Austinite Sam Douglas and Paul Lovelace's documentary The Holy Modal Rounders: Bound to Lose.

The Austin Film Festival hit another one out of the park -- they just announced this year's Outstanding Television Award Honoree, and it's Greg Daniels, a highly respected industry vet whose credits include SNL, Seinfeld, King of the Hill, and, most recently, The Office. Might we suggest Michael Scott emcée? And possibly do a PowerPoint demonstration, too? Daniels will join previously announced Distinguished Screenwriter Awardee Sam Shepard at this year's fest, which runs Oct. 16-23. For more info, visit www.austinfilmfestival.com.

OK, here's the deal: In June Austin filmmaker Jeff Guerrero received $10,000 from a short film contest to use in making another short for the final round of competition. Now he's one of 15 finalists competing for a $100,000 grand prize. His short "The Dreamer" features local wag (and Austin Chronicle designated "best writer in Austin") Owen Egerton. Guererro co-wrote the script with his producer Angie Alvarez, who also was producer of the Independent Spirit nominated film Chalk, on the set of which Guerrero discovered a love for acting when he was working as an assistant director and unexpectedly found himself improvising on camera. Got that? You can vote through Sept. 10 at Thedoorpost.com.

It is time! The Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival is finally here again! This year, the festival turns 21 (which means they are full-grown and can drink legally), and the programmers and director have put together an incredible program of films (96 films! 18 countries! Oscar-nominated and Cannes Award-winning films!) representing the diversity of LGBTQI filmmaking today. Folks, this is ridiculous, and whether you are LGBTQI or something else altogether these films promise to be amazing. All screenings are at the Alamo Ritz and begin on Wednesday. Below the jump: my dream schedule.

The Texas Homeless Network presents the Face the Homeless Film Fest, Tuesday, Sept. 2, at the Alamo Ritz, 320 E. Sixth. The program includes the Texas premiere of Kicking It, a documentary about the 2006 Homeless World Cup in Cape Town, South Africa. That film is 3-5pm ($25); the full event is 8:30am-5pm ($75). Among those in attendance: a player with the Entourage Austin Street Soccer team who's been selected for the national team that's going to Australia for the 2008 HWC in December.
For full event info, download this PDF; see also www.kickingitthefilm.com, www.streetsocceraustin.org, and www.homelessworldcup.org. St. Edward's women (17-3 last season) are ranked 23rd in the NCAA Division II preseason rankings. They start their season today with a scrimmage against Southwestern: Thursday, Aug. 28, 5pm. The Hilltopper men start their regular season Sunday, Aug. 31, 1pm against Regis. Both teams compete in the tough Heartland Conference, along with national powers St. Mary's and Incarnate Word of San Antonio. Below: more home teams: Longhorns, Stoke City, U.S. Men and Women, MLS in CONCACAF.