Keel and Wilson Unify the House

In the debacle that is the last days of the 80th session of the House, new Parliamentarians Terry Keel and Ron Wilson have provoked a new round of bipartisanship – against them. As they shut down challenge after challenge to the might of Speaker Tom Craddick, rep after rep railed against their dictats. Here's some highlights of Sunday's late-night debate, where the gruesome twosome's names came up regularly:

"The only two people who told us we can't do this are the two people sitting behind me – one of whom was defeated by a sitting member of this House, the other was defeated in a statewide election. Where did they go to parliamentary school that made them better than God? Just because the speaker put them up there does not give them the right to tell this body how to do our job." – Rep. Pat Haggerty, R-El Paso

"Until we had these two new parliamentarians, we didn't have any of these problems. This has never come up in the history of the Texas Legislature." – Rep. Jim Dunnam, D-Waco

"To my former colleagues and my current friends sitting behind me, who have advised the speaker on this ruling, I ask you to put yourself in my position. How would you feel? As former representatives, would you find this acceptable?" – Rep. Mike Krusee, R-Round Rock

"Under House rules, are representatives allowed to bring Cokes or Dr Peppers to the floor? No? That being the case, could you ask the deputy parliamentarian to get his off the dias?" Rep. Charlie Geren, R-River Oaks (to thunderous applause)