'I'm Saying I Don't Want to Say Anything'

"This happens every meeting," Rep. Dennis Bonnen, R-Angleton, groaned this morning as another committee witness fell foul of a time-wasting glitch in the Lege's committee rules. Here's how it (doesn't) work:

If someone is attending a House or Senate committee, it's his right to speak for, against, or neutrally on any bill, as long as he fills out a witness affidavit. Simple enough? That person can also just fill out his form to say that, while he has a position on the bill, he doesn't want to speak.

But!

If the committee chair reads a person's name out and the person says out loud from his seat that he doesn't want to speak, he then has to step up to the mic, go on the record with his name and position on the bill - and say he doesn't want to say anything.

However!

If he nods, winks, waves wildly, or communicates through the mystery of interpretive dance that he doesn't want to testify, he doesn't have to get on the mic.

Confused? Don't worry; everybody is.