Pretty Ricky Knows Where to Lick, Stick Ya

It's almost Valentine's Day, and you know what that means: If you don't have someone with whom to slow-dance to Journey's "Open Arms," time to start sharpening that straight razor. TCB has compiled a special playlist just for you for tomorrow. But first, he realizes there are a lot of couples in Austin. Therefore, there are a lot of guys looking forward to busting a nut next Wednesday but far too many of whom are completely unschooled in the art of verbal panty-removal. Enter Pretty Ricky. If you know them at all, you indie rock nerds probably know the Miami R&B quartet as the group whose album Late Night Special kept the Shins' Wincing the Night Away from being No. 1 last week. (Or as the inspiration behind latest SNL/YouTube sensation "Dick in a Box.") But take it from one who knows; these 12 songs are overflowing with prurient poetry and useful romantic advice. After all, Spectacular, Pleasure, Baby Blue, and Slick 'Em "put it down like a vet." See for yourself after the jump.

"Lemme li-li-li-li-li lick ya, then I wanna sti-sti-sti-sti-stick ya." ("So Confused")

"Come over here, let me lift your dress up. Call up the maid, and she can clean the mess up." ("Leave It All Up to You")

"I'm in my room, nothin' but a towel on. Take them granny panties off; put a thong on." ("On the Hotline")

"I ain't tryna be a bugaboo, but you so fine, I had to bug you, boo." ("Peer Pressure")

"Soon as you walk through that door, I want them panties to the floor." ("Late Night Special")

"We closer than the pages in my composition book, but I let you walk in front so them other playaz could look." ("Make It Like It Was")

"I'll be yo teacher, yo platinum Visa. I'll be yo pimp, you be my skeezer." ("Peer Pressure")

"You the kind of girl that's sexy in some boxer shorts. I'm the kind of playa that make you ride it like a Porsche. Yeah, I met you on MySpace, now I'm 'bout to fly you out to my place." ("On the Hotline")

"Age ain't nothing but a number. You don't need ID for me. I'll be your lover undercover, and you ain't gotta tell your mother we alone with each other. ("Leave It All Up to You")

"Let me see them thighs like Serena, ass like Trina, waist like Christina." ("Personal Trainer")

"Got a bag of treats like it's Halloween. No distractions, no questions asked. It's Slicktastic, the freak-o-matic. Guaranteed that satisfaction, got them whip lashes on your back." ("Late Night Special")