The Luv Doc: Literary Aspirations

Dear Luv Doc,

Since graduating from college, I’ve been working remotely for a large publishing company. While most of my work doesn’t involve writing or editing, when I tell people where I work, they often assume that’s what I do. About a year ago, my best friend started dating an aspiring writer. By that, I mean she hasn’t had anything published yet, but she loves to write and wants to do it professionally. Since she found out what I do for work, she’s been regularly emailing me her writing to “edit.” Unfortunately, editing her writing is nearly impossible because it’s so abysmal. It’s bad enough that her chosen genre is fantasy, which I have no interest in even if it were superbly written, but her work is also littered with rudimentary grammar and punctuation errors and meandering, incomplete thoughts that make it almost incomprehensible. Even so, over the last six months, I’ve tried to give her honest but gentle feedback on everything she’s sent me. Her response to anything remotely negative is always a period of sulking and complaining, which she takes out on my friend. He, in turn, complains to me and asks why I can’t be more positive in my comments. Sadly, her literary aspirations are straining our friendship, and I’m at a loss as to how to extricate myself from this situation without causing hard feelings. If I can say one positive thing about her, it’s that she produces a prolific amount of bad writing. I simply don’t have the bandwidth to handle it, her hurt feelings, or her delusional aspirations of becoming a professional writer. What would you do if you were in the same situation?

– Not Really an Editor

There is nothing more awkward that having a friend ... or even a friend of a friend ... who is actively soliciting feedback on creative work that is – by any objective assessment – absolute garbage. You don’t have to believe me, just ask my friends. I can’t even begin to tell you how many follow-up emails I’ve sent to someone that included the phrase, “No seriously, what did you think?” I’ve become well acquainted with, in the words of Simon and Garfunkel, “The sound ... of silence.” The ellipsis was mine, of course, not because Paul Simon doesn’t have ellipses in his grammatical quiver, but because ellipses are one of the cheap grammatical devices I overuse routinely to denote awkward pauses. When you’re in the bad-art game, you become well familiar with them. In fact, I would argue that awkward pauses are the tea leaves of artistic criticism. Make of them what you will, they always mean something.

Here’s one truth I’ve learned in my lifelong death match with the arts: If you’re looking to get into the creativity game solely to stroke your own ego, strap in for a relentless gauntlet of humiliation and anguish. Nobody fucking cares about your ego. If you’re lucky, they might actually care about your art. So, if your creativity doesn’t arise from some deep well of neurotic, gnawing necessity, you’re probably not going to have the fortitude to do it for long. The sooner you get bounced out of that jumpy castle the better. There are plenty of other nutcases trying to claw their way in.

All that said, the kindness and patience you’ve shown you best friend’s girlfriend is heroic. Slow clap. Clearly she enjoys what she’s doing and gets a lot out of it. There would be no reason to take that away from her, except that she enlisted you to (ideally) help her become a better fantasy writer. You’ve given her help, and for whatever reason, she has treated you ungraciously. You don’t have time for that. No one has time for that. You’ve already earned your Purple Heart, now it’s time to let her spread her wings and soar. Tell her that while you sincerely hope she finds her audience, you’re not it. For her, writing is joyful. For you, editing is work. If she (or your best friend) don’t understand that distinction, there is surely an editor out there who can ruthlessly drive it home – or if not an actual editor, there are plenty of writers groups in Austin – maybe even one for fantasy writers. The only way she is going to truly learn to be a professional writer is to learn how to take criticism professionally.