Showgirls

SHOWGIRLS

D: Paul Verhoeven (1995); with Elizabeth Berkley, Gina Gershon, Kyle MacLachlan, Alan Rachins, Robert Davi.

Among the newest entries into the Bad Movie Hall of Fame, Showgirls is an instant classic -- it wants to be All About Eve but stops short of Valley of the Dolls. Trying desperately to be a morality tale with a twist, it fails so completely that the viewer, short of leaving the theatre, is held prisoner to its lurid charm. With the minimally talented Elizabeth Berkley playing the skanky Nomi Malone (she might be alternately known as "Gnome-y" Malone or "Know Me" Malone), a former juvenile delinquent who has just graduated from jail-bait status and hitchhikes to Las Vegas to be a lap dancer -- I mean, showgirl. Things start off badly for her, and it becomes evident immediately that she would benefit from anger-management classes. After losing her luggage and money, she is mysteriously befriended by a young woman -- mysterious, because it is unimaginable that a stranger would offer assistance to someone so unstable, unpleasant, and trashy looking. But we are talking about Las Vegas here. Gnomey's new friend is a wardrobe mistress for the show Goddess and sneaks Gnomey in to watch behind the scenes. It is here that Gnomey meets Cristal Connors (Gershon), a senior showgirl who calls everyone "darlin'" and does a lot of cocaine. Even considering the rumor that the film's first-choice stars were Madonna as Cristal and Drew Barrymore as Gnomey, Joe Eszterhas' script is cruder than it needs to be. But that is part of its charm. Supporting characters further underscore the bottom-of-the-barrel approach to storytelling -- from the owner of the strip club where Gnomey works to the sleazy "choreographer" who pursues her to her fellow "dancers," we are treated to a cattle call of unpleasant stereotypes. The scenes are awash in tawdriness that is supposed to represent the underbelly of American life, where everyone's a whore. A dire pronouncement, to be sure, but far more indicative of the state of Verhoeven and Ezsterhas than the state of America. As far as being the brilliant satire it was purported to be, that sounds like someone trying to put a good spin on an awful movie. Truly awful. Like a car wreck you can't take your eyes off of.