The Hightower Report

Dollar Bill Phil Cashes In

Hark! Do I hear the cacophonous sound of hurdy-gurdy music wafting in from the U.S. capital? Yes, indeed -- it's that old Washington merry-go-round, spinning its magic once again, and look who's getting a ride atop the carousel's golden pony this time -- Phil Gramm!

Yes, "Dollar Bill Phil," the money-grubbing senator from Texas whose 24 years in Congress were notable mainly for his, shall we say, "coquettish" willingness to do legislative favors for corporations and big bankers in exchange for their campaign cash. He's such a notorious hustler that the joke on Capitol Hill is that Phil spells Phillip, his formal name, "F-i-l-l-u-p," as in "Fill up my pockets with money." The word is that he even sews extra pockets into his suits.

Well, now, ol' Phil is really cashing in on all the services he's rendered to the bankers over the years. In fact, he's becoming one! Having announced his retirement from the Senate a few months ago, a giddy Gramm has just announced that he's being picked up by something called UBS Warburg, which is the investment banking arm of Switzerland's largest financial empire. Phil turned demure when asked how much of a payoff he's getting, refusing to name the figure, but it's definitely a multimillion-dollar bonanza for this former chair of the Senate banking committee.

The CEO of UBS Warburg says that Gramm's "experience makes him uniquely suited to assist our clients." Sure, his experience as a longtime law-writer who routinely used his public position to rig the rules to favor rich investors and fat-cat bankers over the rest of us makes him a natural to switch hats and become Warburg's in-house adviser on rule rigging.

So Washington's merry-go-round just keeps turning, picking up yet another lawmaker and giving him a golden ride to the executive suite, paid for by the very industry he previously oversaw.

Hypocrisy About Democracy

On the day the gods were passing out irony genes, all of the Bushites and their warmongering Iraq-attack cronies apparently went missing.

How ironic, for example, that they huff and puff so belligerently about the despicable Saddam Hussein, asserting that their noble goal in attacking him is to promote democracy. The irony is that, to plant the pure flower of democracy in Iraq, Bush and company have allied themselves with some of the most despicable, tyrannical, anti-democratic regimes in the entire Islamic world.

Take Turkey, whose government operates under the thumb of an oppressive military autocracy. Turkey's military is a longtime U.S. ally, thanks to billions of dollars in military aid that our government supplies. If George wants to spread democracy, Turkey is a place where we have some real pressure points. But instead of pushing them, he and previous presidents keep coddling the Turkish generals, always siding with them against Turks who are striving for democracy.

For example, polls show that the leader of Turkey's most popular political party is way ahead in the race to become the nation's next prime minister. But he's not favored by the generals, so they've simply had him banned from running. He's still likely to win the vote but he won't be allowed to serve -- yet the Bushites have simply looked the other way.

Then there's Uzbekistan, run by Islam Karimov, a tyrannical Soviet-era boss. Bush's own State Department says Karimov runs "an authoritarian state" where his police "routinely torture, beat, and otherwise mistreat detainees." These detainees are Uzbekistanis who dare oppose Karimov's totalitarian rule.

Prior to Bush, this tyrant was denied U.S. financial aid because of his miserable human rights record. But George now says Karimov is our ally, and he recently brought this thug to the White House and rewarded him with $160 million in aid.

You can't make chicken salad with chicken manure, and you can't make democracy with autocrats.