We cornered Heather Gold after her most excellent panel discussion about Feminism and asked her about tonight's Plutopia Party at the Palmer. Stop reading and start clicking! [video-1] [video-2]

We have too much cool stuff. In fact, we have so much that, as the late George Carlin noted, "if we didn't have so much stuff we wouldn't need a house, 'cause that's all a house really is: a place to put our stuff." The blame for ravening, omnivorous consumerism and the ties that have bound it to the once-American and now-Global Dream can be laid before various entities: Madison Avenue, Capitalism, and the ever-popular Joneses, of Next Door, Anytown, USA. But what is it that drives us to purchase that tenth iteration of a potato peeler when our kitchen drawers are already crammed full of perfectly functional (if a tad blunt, or dinged) peelers, graters, and, god help us, sharkily serrated grapefruit spoons? Seriously: Enough stuff, already.

DANG IT. I have been jumping around like an interactive idiot and did not get this up in a timely fashion. My apologies. Mobile Loaves and Fishes, the amazing Austin-based homeless service ministry just held a really cool contest for SXSW Interactive that will culminate at Monday's Plutopia Party. While it's too late to enter part one of the contest, it's not too late to follow, and in doing so, learn all about what this fabulous group does. (Oh, and P.S.: early next week, we will blog about their upcoming Street Retreat, wherein MLF members will live like and alongside their homeless brothers and sisters for a few nights at a time.) OK, so bottom line, this is about the incredible, edible egg and how it brings life, nourishment, and fellowship, as delivered by our pals at MLF, to our fellow bros and sises surviving out on the street. Do click below to learn more! (Thanks to Brenda for the head's up. Rarely – as in never – do we quote Press Releases so directly, but in this case we make an eggception, because Brenda's such a good egg...)

Look at yourself good.

Middle of March, Austin, and fucking look at yourself: Drizzling down the rain like God's postnasal drip, temperatures low enough to stiffen the nipples of somebody's girlfriend in a coma, people are gonna think they've wound up in Seattle instead of the putative Live Music Capitol of the World while they work the Interactive schmoozathon.

Haven't been precisely working that, myself, the schmoozathon. Been prowling the convention center's concourse, schlepping the swag-heavy Interactive & Film bags around, pausing to chat and clot the walkways with local homies before hoofing it to the next panel, the next presentation, the next lack of an epiphany.

But no one's at SXSW for an epiphany. The information profferred by its army of talking heads, that newsy data's already in the last article they threw into the Net or will anyway be published there mere hours after the festival's closed. No one needs to cross the globe or even just the street to consume Dan Willis's opinion about why current webdesign is, basically, wrong. No one needs to leave their favorite surfing chair to ken the carny savvy of social-engineering jackanapes Brian Brushwood.

Even if some of us (the more entrepreneurial and less cultural, say) do wind up heeding a few of the many panel-driven instructions on How To Sell More Shit To More People, that is not, ultimately, why we're here.

We're not here for the content.

After spending an hour talking with Heather Gold I feel certain about one thing, life is going to get better. How else to describe a conversation that left me high and uplifted? I say conversation, because, although it was scheduled as an interview, it's what we did. We conversed. Plus, my notes were lacking, so I am going to attempt to recreate her vibe rather that futz around with "quotes." Also, we are going to catch her Interactive panel today at 3:30pm and hope to come away from that with a vlog we'll post tomorrow. If you don't know Heather Gold's name then you should, whether you're queer or not. She's been described as "the turkey baster love child of Sarah Silverman and Rachel Maddow," but honestly, I'd add that there's a little bit of Bob Ross in there, too: Happy Trees! (she's supportive of your art!). Austinites may be familiar with her, she birthed her one-woman show I Look Like an Egg, but I Identify as a Cookie partially in Austin. This was a performance in which she baked cookies for the audience while carrying on a variety of improvisational conversations. Yummers. Gold also hosted Austin Gay Pride events a few years back, and has lectured extensively. These days, she's developing a new show, I Didn't Know How Much I Loved You Until Ken Starr Filed to Divorce Us, about her recent marriage to her wife and the likely invalidation of said union. I've never met a performer like her.

"Conan! What is best in life? "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."

Political campaigns have long been at the forefront of advertising psychology and brand construction. As this morning's SXSW Interactive panel What your Startup Can Learn from Barack Obama and Howard Dean proved, they're basically quick-fire start-ups, with contributions standing in for venture capitol, and a very focused end-game. It's an arcane art. The Obama campaign, Sunlight Labs Director and former Dean campaign op Clay Johnson said, got so fine-tuned on what did and did not work that they knew what font and font-size was most effective in fund-raising emails. Even self-professed token Republican Mary Katharine Ham of the Weekly Standard admitted that they did a good job, noting that John Kerry didn't pay attention to Dean's developments and lost.

With so many forms of pleasure, education and delight available at SXSW, how does anyone cut through the chatter and get people to their booth/movie/product? And how do attendees sprinting for that all-important panel avoid that stressed-out intern desperately trying to stuff a flier in their sweaty paw? As one company proved this morning, the quickest way to get people to read your bumpf is attach it to a free breakfast taco. But there must be a simpler (and cheaper) way, right? Magician/social theoretician Brian Brushwood of Scam School fulfilled the civic service component of SXSW Interactive with yesterday's talk Social Engineering: Scam Your Way Into Anything or From Anybody, a user's guide to avoid simple but effective tricks that induce the Pavlovian "Buy! Buy! Buy!" instinct in us all. So what's his opinion of other professionals working in the nether world between hucksterism and psychology? John Edwards of Crossing Over infamy? South Park nailed him.

Is it really SXSW without hordes of interns, actors and CEOs of start-ups wearing silly costumes in the hope of getting some attention for their product? This year's first sighting? A pink gorilla, courtesy of online storage firms Jungle Disk. Don't worry, by the end of the festival, even two dinosaurs buying smoothies and a pack of rogue Napoleons on a cigarette break will scarcely stand out of the crowd.

Don't have 500 bones to throw down for an Interactive badge? Lost your job at Midway or NCsoft but still want to party like it's 2005? Free parties aren't exclusive to the music portion of the festival. Here's a short list of soirees where badges will make you look like the dork you are. No promises that the lines won't break your spirit though.

Diggnation Bigg Digg Shindigg

Digg.com is the people's blog: everything, all the time, and the web surfer is king. So, it makes sense that their party is free and open to the public. Things start out on a down note with street scammer (read, mediocre magician) Brian Brushwood showing you how to "impress" friends and bartenders. Honestly, I'd vote for him as king of the douchebags but he's an author and internet shill and I'm a mere blogger so, who's the jackass? Following that is the requisite live music and DJ sets that are the true test of a party. Check out the event page for more info.

Stubb's
801 Red River
Saturday, March 14, 7pm-2am