Fans’ Man Crush on Shipley Blocks McCoy’s Heisman March

What’s a quarterback to do? Texas Longhorn fans have a serious man (and woman) crush on his sleek, graceful best friend, and poor Colt McCoy waits for a little more Heisman Trophy love. Austin radio talk icon Dale Dudley admits to a man crush on the uber-talented singer/songwriter/heartbreaker Bob Schneider, who makes Dudley feel all warm and ooky inside.

Texas fans are clearly facing the same mixed-up emotional overload whenever the quiet — in a thoughtful, deep, insightful, dreamy kind of way — Jordan Shipley lopes down the sideline and pulls down another pass as if it were a cloud. McCoy threw for 470 yards against the outmanned Central Florida Something-or-Others in a 35-3 win last Saturday. But the guy catching the ball, our Dreamboat Shipley, gets all the press and praise with his school-best 273 yards receiving including a dazzling 88-yard nab for a TD. McCoy? He was four yards off of the record set by some old guy on the sidelines coaching with the funnier porn name of Major Applewhite.

McCoy was the Heisman bridesmaid last year, and, if the trend continues, Shipley may be the reason. Can you really have two Heisman candidates from one school? Sure, but neither is likely to win. Did I mention that Shipley is a finalist for the Wuerffel Trophy given to the ultimate, all-around-perfect player who combines great athletic ability with brains and a caring heart. The award is named after a former Heisman winner. Just congratulate him, Colt. Stop that muttering under your breath.

Meanwhile in the Heisman hunt, all should be well for McCoy. Sure, he’s throwing a few more interceptions than last year and his team has absolutely no running attack (67 yards in 25 attempts against Central Florida?). But the Horns are undefeated and, barring something stupid, are almost guaranteed a slot in the national championship game against either Florida or Alabama who will face off in a death match for the right to be there.

Last year’s Heisman winner, injured quarterback Sam Bradford of poor, poor pitiful Oklahoma, spends his days playing fantasy football, while 2007’s winner, Florida QB Tim Tebow, is clinging to the lead in this year’s race despite his own up-and-down performance. That should leave McCoy in pretty good shape, but Alabama ball carrier Mark Ingram is in the mix, and Shipley’s name pops up occasionally to mock McCoy. In other words, the race is wide open.

Performance in the season’s home stretch will determine the Heisman victor and that’s both to McCoy’s advantage and against it. He’ll surely rack up big numbers against Baylor this weekend in a 48-14 win that would have been a foregone conclusion even if their star quarterback Robert Griffin weren’t on the sidelines. (Let’s not forget Griffin was at the helm for a 30-22 loss to the now 4-4 Connecticut Huskies, who fell to mighty Rutgers this past weekend.)

Don’t expect 4-5 Baylor’s former third-string quarterback and freshman Nick Florence to do much more than throw three interceptions as he aims to a pair of pretty good receivers in Kendall Wright and David Gettis. The Texas defense is too good and, like Texas, the Bears have little in the way of a running attack. Plus, expect the stands to be filled with almost as many Longhorn fans as Bear faithful. It’s a great little stadium in which to watch a football game and the trip has the added attraction of such mouth-watering local eats as shakes from Health Camp and sausage from Vitek’s Barbecue.

After Baylor, Texas faces Kansas, Texas A&M, and a sacrificial lamb from the Big 12 North in the conference title game. All should pose just enough of a challenge for Coach Mack Brown to fire up the troops. Did I mention Texas has a really, really good defense? McCoy should be able to rack up gaudy passing numbers to impress the Heisman voters, but those same voters may be holding their noses at the level of Big 12 opposition.

Plus, the guy catching those balls will more times than not be Mr. Perfect. Did I mention that Shipley has already graduated? That he hands out candy bars to the homeless? That he once saved the life of a one-legged orphan foolishly trying to cross the road just to get to the other side while holding a chicken? That Shipley combs his hair with sunshine? And he’s such a nice guy, he'll will beg you to go to voteobrien.org and vote for his roommate Colt for the O’Brien Award as the best quarterback ever. Seriously. Do it. It’s not the Heisman, but it’s something.