The AggreGAYtor: January 4

Obama pulls a bummer, Rob James-Collier reveals some spoilers, and Tammy Baldwin does some swearing. Today's AggreGAYtor sticks to the rivers and lakes that it's used to.

• Sometimes I feel like President Obama is our nation's Jordan Catalano. He, like, says a few nice things and I write his name out a thousand times on my Trapper Keeper; then he goes and sleeps with Rayanne and signs a defense bill with anti-gay clauses. Sigh. I just like how he's always leaning.

• And then Brian Krakow helps him write a letter and then you, like, take him back. Then, BAM, he throws AIDS funding off the fiscal cliff.

• Like, moving on. If you are a Pentagon worker wanting to read about how the Pentagon is blocking LGBT blogs, good luck to you. Don't worry, you can still read about Ann Coulter's "beach body."�

• Santa Clemente resident Stan Wasbin is a very angry man. I worry sometimes about his blood pressure.

• Like that little moist nib after a cleansing New Year's Eve vomit, Crystal Dixon's anti-diversity lawsuit keeps causing a tickle in my throat.

• If I were Tammy Baldwin, I would totally showboat after being sworn in as the first out lesbian US Senator. Although it might take me a sec to relearn the Super Bowl Shuffle.

• Steven Goldstein, the long-time chairman of Garden State Equality, is moving on from the position.

• Lobbying group Airlines for America is being accused of anti-gay discrimination in new lawsuit.

• The First Baptist Church of Iowa City has decided to begin performing rites for same sex couples. Amen!

• Meh.

• If Out Magazine’s interview with Rob James-Collier is to be believed, Mr. Carson is totally the Michelangelo Signorile of Downton Abbey.

• According to ex-gay porn "star" Joseph Sciambra, bumpus in the rumpus gives birth to Satan. Luckily, silicone based lubes are really slippery.

• Popular video game Star Wars: The Old Republic will soon be offering SGR (same gender relationships) for those who would rather see mutual masturbation than Hans Solo.

• Fantasia Barrino has a message for those that seek to destroy her.

• All the cool kids will be at 12th Night Austin on Saturday. The AggreGAYtor hopes to see all your lovely faces keeping step. I ain't 2 proud 2 beg.