The AggreGAYtor: August 22

Mitt Romney gets hungry on the road, Kirk Cameron has some opinions, and Aziz gets a new modeling gig. Today’s AggreGAYtor makes me feel mighty real.

• Maybe the Mayan calendar conspiracy theorists are right. There is certainly something cataclysmic happening if Exodus International admits gays can’t be changed.

• Sam the Eagle doppelgänger Brit Hume gets his Fox News talking points from the viciously anti-gay Media Research Center.

• One of Mitten’s advisors likens homosexuality to drug use. The AggreGAYtor recommends Sylvester as a gateway drug before shooting up with Jobriath.

• Nebraskan woman charged with faking hate crime. Congratulations Charlie Rogers, you are now in the hallowed company of gay minstrel act Taylor Garrett and carving charlatan Ashley Todd.

• Faith in humanity: Roanoke businesses give gay Radford University student major upgrade after repeated car vandalism.

• Mittens buys a truckload of Chick-fil-A for campaign staffers.

• The merry pranksters of Anonymous replace front page of Khamovnichesky District Court website with video from gender-variant Bulgarian superstar Aziz in protest of Pussy Riot ruling.

• Expired milk carton Kirk Cameron implores nation to not waste another minute on cryin' over Todd Akin.

• The adult in me questions an endorsement from a bastion of heteronormativity, but the kid in me is still tickled that Hugh Hefner supports gay rights.

• Diana Nyad is forced to cut her Florida to Cuba swim short, remains a badass.

• Adorable 8-year old writes letter to people of Minnesota questioning why his moms can’t get married.

• Meanwhile, a Minnesotan state candidate is caught in a truck stop imbroglio.

• Ayn Rand’s burn book, the GOP party platform, calls for severe restrictions for LGBTQ service members.

• West Hollywood decides to keep rainbow cross walks.

• Fort Worth mourns death of LGBTQ activist Thomas Anable.