The redneck peckerwoods that rule our state are now taking up House Bill 459, by cracka-ass-cracka Rep. Sid Miller (Ag and Livestock chairman – need we say any more?). According to the bill analysis,

"Currently, monuments or memorials located on state property may be removed, relocated or altered only by the legislature, Texas Historical Commission, or State military or war-related service. House Bill 459 would expand current statute to protect a monument or memorial on state property that honors a citizen or former citizen of the United States, or a person from a state, territory, or nation that is now part of the U.S."

The analysis goes on to say, "This ensures that monuments of people such as, Martin Luther King, Cesar Chavez, or Stephen F. Austin are protected." But the intent is to keep colleges and courts from removing Confederate statues.

Funny how Republicans are all for local control when it's convenient.

UPDATE: "It's amazing to me how … we're taking up hours of time on something like this, when we could be dealing with something important to our constituency. … Quite frankly, I'm insulted by your bill as a member of this body," says Rep. Senfronia Thompson. Amen!

MORE UPDATE: After hours of heated and wrenching discussion, Miller does the right thing and pulls the bill for now.

YET MORE UPDATE (from Associate News Editor Lee Nichols): There were some doozy amendments thrown at this bill, presumably to be poison pills. The first, offered by Thompson, said that the statues would receive protection unless the honored person "engaged in an armed insurrection against the United States" – which is not how crackers like to think of their revered Confederate heroes, but that is in fact what they did. Fort Worth Democrat Marc Veasey offered one that said the protection could not apply to statues honoring slave owners or those with KKK affiliations (without doing any research, I'll guess off the top of my head that this would apply to at least one of the UT South Mall statues). Thompson then offered another that would prevent the bill from protecting monuments to "a person who does not believe in 'One Nation Under God'" (whatever that means – this one got adopted, natch).

After a famous run, the Alamo Drafthouse is moving from its original location. But fear not – it's departing the snooty, unappreciative environs of the Warehouse District for Sixth Street's Ritz, itself a former theatre.

The news was something of a coup for the local blogosphere, as Metroblogging Austin reported the news after it was announced on the Alamo's blog, then rescinded. (Apparently, it was posted a little early, in error. But now it's back up.) Says Alamo co-founder Tim League:

"For the last 10 years, we have also seen the warehouse district grow up around us. As the neighborhood has become more and more upscale, we’ve seen many long-time businesses fall away: The Bitter End, Gilligans, Waterloo Brewing Co, and Ruta Maya to name just a few. At the end of June, 2007, our lease will expire and due to the high costs of rent, insurance and taxes, we have been not been confident that we would be able to continue occupying our current space. With the end of our lease looming, the Downtown Austin Alliance stepped in quickly and brought us together with the owners of the Ritz Theater on 6th Street. In a matter of weeks, we shook hands on a deal and are now moving full-steam ahead with planning for the next decade of Alamo Drafthouse Downtown programming: Alamo Drafthouse Cinema at the Ritz."

The move is in line with recent calls by City Council to diversify Sixth Street's businesses. They recently approved a business relocation fund for businesses leaving or coming there. The Ritz, once a popular watering hole for slackers, hipsters, and bicyclists, had a much publicized changing-of-the-guard last year, which ran out several old patrons as they tried to cater to a more upscale clientele.

League hopes to have the two-screen theatre up by the end of summer.

Is it anything like the Showcase Showdown on The Price Is Right, but instead of competing for fabulous trips and prizes, it's the lifeblood of our democracy that hangs in the balance? And if your impeachment is within $100 dollars of other high-court proceedings, do you win both cases?

The Decider caterwauled, spittled, and sulked through a press conference yesterday, saying his testimony offer for Karl Rove and Harriet Miers in the U.S. attorneys drama – no oath, no transcript – was a sweet deal. He called them something like "faithful public servants." How do you feel knowing your tax dollars pay Karl Rove's salary? Blogger TBogg nailed the scene:

"One thing that is fascinating about George Bush is how little he has grown in office. No, that's not right. It's not that he hasn't grown, he has gotten smaller; less Presidential, more sad little man watching his paper boat circle the drain. After six years of playing The Decider he should at least have a thin candy shell of gravitas as opposed to coming across like one of those guys on Peoples Court who not only has an unshakable belief that people won't see through his bullshit, but that no one will notice his artful comb-over either.

As bad a president as George W. Bush has been … he is a worse person and it shows whenever he is under pressure; he melts down into a greasy little puddle of glares and smirks and incipient panic. But tonight was special. Tonights performance lays to rest any notion other than the fact that he's not a very bright man who has nothing but contempt for a world that refuses to dumb down for him."

Well, the House called his bluff this morning, issuing subpoenas for the two. And Atrios has a novel solution in case justice drag-asses it at the behest of the White House. Impeach Gonzales.

After six unprecedented years, someone's got to hold their feet to the fire.

Don't get your hopes up too high, but the Lege may be about to do something that would be popular and sensible. They may be killing off the dreaded Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills!

Yes, the test, which swallows up student energy, teacher hours, and, by consensus, adds nothing to the real process of education, may become a thing of the past, if Senate Bill 1031 passes. Currently before the Senate Education Committee, it's gaining momentum in the Lege.

Don't get too excited - it's not disappearing overnight. The freshman class of 2009 will be the first to take the new replacement assessments. They'll take an end-of-course exam in four core areas - math, science, English and social studies - each year from ninth to 11th grade and have to get a minimum 70% in all 12 tests to graduate.

But that's not the really fun change. Let's look at Section 39.0303 of the bill: "(a) A person commits an offense (1) the person discloses the contents of any of a secure assessment instrument developed or administered this subchapter, including the answer to any item in the instrument."

Yup, sneak a copy of the test, and it's a class C misdemeanor, with a $500 fine. Whatever happened to afterschool detention?

This was just left as a comment on the below entry.

What the hell else can you say about something like that?

March 22 marks the 35th anniversary of the National Commission on Marihuana and Drug Abuse’s famed report, “Marihuana: A Signal of Misunderstanding,” which concluded that marijuana use and distribution, in large part, should be made legal. The report was the product of the Shafer Commission – named after its chair, Pennsylvania Gov. Raymond Shafer – whose members were appointed by then-President Richard Nixon. Nixon refused to even read the report, which concluded that “neither the marihuana user nor the drug itself can be said to constitute a danger to public safety” – not exactly the kind of message that helps to ramp up a federally funded war on dope. Of course, Nixon’s response was not unlike that of his modern counterparts, who just love ignoring science and other considered opinions that conclude that our draconian brand of drug prohibition is, in fact, a flop.

With City Council slated to offer $40,000-a-season incentives to NBC series Friday Night Lights if the emo-gridiron saga decides to keep filming in Austin (and, oh yeah, if it doesn't get canceled, either), here's Jennifer Kim on the deal, according to the Statesman:

"I'm going to hold my nose and vote for it."

Oh Snap! Granted, locker room aroma was never our thing either.

Last night, Fox 7's "News Edge" led with the capture of a man suspected in a string of serial jerkin' episodes in changing rooms up and down South Congress. His last "session" occurred nowhere else but shit-hot scenester retailer FactoryPeople, leading to his arrest.

According to the Bleedin' Edge, the Jerker wasn't simply content with the act itself (although the rhythmic thump of German microhouse, no doubt bleating out over the Peep's speakers, likely helped), but dude actually had to get completely naked in in the changing room. (Ironically, during South by Southwest, this type of thing was smiled upon in a Last Night's Party type of way. But only the drunk, white, pretty people are allowed to expose themselves in FactoryPeople.)

Honestly, doesn't this sound like something only these guys could come up with?

UPDATE: The entire report is online now for your viewing pleasure. Among the interviewees is none other than FactoryPeople co-owner Le Popov, recently profiled in a hard-hitting Statesman profile on – no shit – hipster parents, or "grupsters" (we're as lost as you):

"Sure, their five children have met Green Day, and they chat with the (sic?) Peaches' DJ whenever she's spinning in the shop, but for the most part, the couple try and insulate them from the rock 'n' roll culture they coveted as younger adults. (Le is 40, and Thomas is '36 or 43, depending on who's asking.')"

Students at UT-Austin could be facing weekend classes, if a new bill gets through the Lege.

House Bill 120, sponsored by Rep. Fred Brown, R-Bryan, is intended to get more use out of university lecture rooms; the more hours the rooms are made available, the more credit hours a student can take in a semester, the quicker they can graduate. However, there’s the question of when those hours will be. The bill proposes a test scheme for three universities – Texas A&M, Texas Tech, and UT-Austin. Students will get a 15% discount on their fees for courses held outside of the normal business day. That means nights, weekends, and the nebulously defined “times that the institution's instructional facilities would otherwise be underutilized”.

The bill is supposed to avoid the state having to spend money building new facilities or replacing old, worn-out ones. Pack students in later and later (they're young; they don't need sleep), and get lecturers working longer hours and teaching more classes, rather than expanding the facilities to keep track of the expanding population. It also seems to be built on the idea that students don’t already get taught from early morning to late at night. At UT-Austin, many departments already schedule courses from 8am to 10pm. This only leaves weekends and those "other times."