News Ticker: October 22

Ted Cruz outstays his welcome, Debra Medina thirsts for a solution, and Dan Branch enjoys the silence. Whispers are on the News Ticker.

• As with that creeping, undefinable crud currently colonizing your guest bathroom grout, it may take something abrasive to rid your news feeds of Sen. Ted Cruz. On Monday evening, Cruz rubbed elbows with the King Street Patriots.

• Gov. Rick Perry, in Israel discussing plans for Nazareth A&M, took a few moments to throw shade at his possible presidential opponent, saying no one in Jerusalem is talking about Cruz. That includes Jesus, who is usually all up in everybody's business.

• As long as Sen. John Cornyn is using a a "Keep It" theme for his campaign swag, we have a few suggestions. Maybe he can emblazon boxers with "keep it in your pants," or embroider thongs with "keep it classy." There's just no political imagination anymore.

• Republican comptroller candidate Debra Medina could do without Prop 6, saying the free market would address water concerns. Really, she has a point. Why can't we just drink the drained water from Six Flags Hurricane Harbor?

• A new Texas State Teachers Association study found that more than 40% of Texas teachers moonlight during the regular school year. The other 60% use those teachers for their discounts.

• Like your creepy uncle that your parents force you to visit on holidays, the Republican Party of Texas is reaching out to Hispanic voters.

• Moody's Investors Service has again downgraded the credit rating of the company that operates the Texas 130 toll road. Luckily for them, the state has been slow to regulate the payday loan industry.

• Orkin man Jonathan Stickland has been named the Young Conservatives of Texas' "Rookie of the Year." Although Rep. Jodie Laubenberg also got high marks, she was edged out for not threatening to shoot pro-choice protestors.

• Rep. Dan Branch latest campaign ad touts his sponsorship of a 2003 moment of silence bill. Obviously the man is not good at taking his own advice.

• The House Select Committee on Transparency in State Agency Operations began hearing testimony today in it's investigation of whether Regent Wallace Hall is a mole hellbent on destroying UT-Austin President Bill Powers. While allegations are indeed flying, we were hoping for something a bit more exciting. One can find more juice in a Kool Aid Cooler.

• Workers have begun hanging the lights for this year's Zilker Park Trail of Lights, which the city has rudely failed to mark with spoiler alerts.

• Although Zachary Reich doesn't know the exact punishment he will face for building a two-story apartment without permits, we are not sure we agree with the Austin Business Journal that he is facing "unknown consequences." For example, it is highly unlikely that Reich will face tickle torture. There are some parameters here.

• Austin has announced that, starting this weekend, they will randomly start closing downtown streets until the city becomes less attractive to tourists.