News Ticker: June 4

All the news that's fit to blog

News Ticker: June 4

The Lege rebels against Rick Perry, Lustre Pearl fights a lawsuit, and the Tea Party refuses to drink the Kool-Aid. Potables are on the News Ticker.

• Today in warm fuzzies, the Texas Rangers have invited the entire town of West, Texas to a July game.

• Now the story of a legislature who proposed everything, and the one governor who had no choice but to keep them all together.

Tea Party dissent is mounting against the 83rd Legislature's proposed water development bank. We suppose they could always make their beloved tea with flat Pepsi.

• The Austin Police Department's new report on gun violence shows approximately a quarter of crimes involve firearms. Sadly, there were no statistics from crimes involving comically oversized nunchucks.

• Rainey Street bar Lustre Pearl is in hot water again for over-serving. That's probably how the "e" and the "r" got mixed up.

• According to the Texas Civil Health Index, Texans could give a shit.

• The perpetrator in this morning's Bastrop hostage situation is believed to be headed to Austin. Native purists still rank him as a slightly more desirable transplant than Californians.

• Sen. Ted Cruz continues to look for ways to make Marco Rubio look presidential.

• The forces behind Google Glass have banned pornography apps, cruelly stripping wearers from their one hope at sexual engagement.

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KEYWORDS FOR THIS POST

News, Immigration Reform, Rick Perry, 83rd Legislature, Special Session, Ted Cruz, West, Texas, Texas Rangers, Civil Engagement, Texas Civil Health Index, Rainy Day Fund, Tea Party, Lustre Pearl

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