Hide the Red Button!
Not a dream! Not a hoax! Dick Cheney will be president - for about two hours.
By Richard Whittaker, 10:26PM, Fri. Jul. 20, 2007
President Cheney! Quick, people, this is not a drill!
Friday afternoon, White House flack-in-chief Tony Snow announced that President George Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy to look for benign polyps sometime Saturday at Camp David. What makes this very noteworthy is that he'll be under full anesthesia, so this means there will, briefly, have to be a fill-in commander-in-chief. Under Section III of the 25th Amendment, he has appointed Vice President Richard B. Cheney as acting president while he's incapable of making cogent presidential-level decisions.
However, for anyone who thought that getting the big gig would finally draw the invisible vice-president out of seclusion, he shall, like an unshakable quail, not break cover. Snow informed the press corps that Cheney will not return to D.C. but will remain at his home on Maryland's Eastern Shore, right through the transfer of power.
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Richard Whittaker, Jan. 16, 2009
Richard Whittaker, Dec. 22, 2008
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