Qmmunity: Homoscopes to the Future
Where we’re going, we won’t need common sense – only astrology!
By James Scott, Fri., Dec. 27, 2024
I’m writing this column from behind a crystal ball, within which are purple and pink swirls of precog magic. How do you score one of these? First, you have to be really beautiful, and God has to love you. Then, you have to be queer – although that’s basically just restating the obvious. Anyway: I looked into my shiny totem to glean incredible insight into what events all the star signs must attend. What I saw has been here logged for your betterment.
Or you can just go to the events that seem fun to you. Whatever, dude. I’m not your mom.
Sagittarius: Red District Party
Monday 30, 207 W. Fourth
Sir Rat Leather & Gear hosts a vibrant, edgy experience sure to bring out the adventurous Sag as well as their sensual friends, featuring a bathhouse vibe and music by DJ Cosmique and DJ Daddy D.
Capricorn: Tuezgayz 2025
Tuesday 31, Barbarella & Swan Dive
The financially informed Capricorn knows a good deal when they see one, which is why they ought to attend Barbs/Swan Dive’s “3 Parties 1 Cover” NYE party – that’s a million-dollar value for only $20.
Aquarius: Garage Comedy
Thursday 26, Fallout Theater
A stacked lineup of women and nonbinary comedians promises to “pack a punch EVERY week” that will delight the cool and quirky Aquarius, especially if they get to brag about it later in the week.
Pisces: A Tuna Surprise: New Queer’s Eve Day Show
Tuesday 31, Knomad Bar
Save a tissue or two for the sensitive Pisces, who’ll surely shed a tear at this fond reunion of art folk rockers the TunaHelpers as well as contribute an art piece to the 2025 Resilience & Regeneration ofrenda altar.
Aries: Black Party
Saturday 28, the Austin Eagle
Too hot to handle is the name of the Aries game, as is this party that celebrates the dark clothes, tunes, and vibes – so dress in the style of shadows.
Taurus: Drag Bingo Happy Hour
Sunday 29, Jo’s Coffee Symphony Square
Gastronomes that they are, Taurus readers ought to try their luck at this drag bingo hosted by Lawrie Bird, where delicious prizes and Jo’s refreshments await.
Gemini: Tongue in Cheek
Thursday 2, Swan Dive
Those guffawing Geminis may have their fill of funny folks at Ivy Le’s queer comedy open mic: a perfect way to kick off a very silly year indeed.
Cancer: TGQ Social North
Saturday 28, Slab BBQ & Beer
Slip out of that shell, Cancer, and find new friends at this Northside hang held by TGQ Social, where gender diverse peeps and their allies gather together.
Leo: Big Gay Night Out: New Year’s Eve Edition
Tuesday 31, Fallout Theater
Let the lion roar a little – or a lot – at this comedy show hosted by the talented Greg Phelps and featuring local gay luminaries in the he-he/ha-ha field.
Virgo: NYE 2025 at the Coco Complex
Tuesday 31, Coconut Club
Organization mavens like Virgos will love how Coco Club collects all the hot platter-spinners under one roof and across five dance floors – all for $20.
Libra: New Year’s Day Polar Plunge + Boozy Brunch
Wednesday 1, Austin Motel
Balance the scales, Libra, with this party that promises delicious eats, beats by Boi Orbison, and drag by Cheeki Khant.
Scorpio: NYE @ CUC
Tuesday 31, Cheer Up Charlies
Chups salutes the Scorpio’s sexy taste by packing their NYE lineup with DJs who really bring the steamy spins – plus complimentary champers and a tequila shot with ticket purchase? Wahoo!
