Qmmunity: Regret Posting

Like any normal person, middle school to me was about experimenting with all my worst inclinations. Oversized shirts and jackets all the time? Yes, I did that. Writing “friend-fiction” à la Tina Belcher before Tina Belcher existed? Oh, yeah, I was guilty. And yes, of course I tried to be goth for a week but didn’t have any black lipstick, so I just used a makeup stick from Halloween and when I came downstairs with jet-black smackers my mom laughed and said “What is on your face?” These are all actions I look back on with embarrassed fondness. I was testing the boundaries of who I wanted to be – aesthetically, physically, emotionally.

I regret more how I experimented socially. From elementary to middle school, I had a very close friend. Together we discovered Neopets, decoded the secret fairy language in Artemis Fowl, and I even made them play the L to my Light while attached by a yarn handcuff. (If you know, you know.) Then eighth grade rolled around, and I started to get more friends. Those friends were normies, to be honest. At the time, being normal and not caring about anything was sort of the Aughts key to cool, which eluded me then and still does today. Still, I attempted to fit in while my close friend didn’t.

One day, at recess, while with these new friends, I suggested we pretend that we didn’t know my old friend. That any time they tried to talk to us, we run away. The cruel little game lasted one recess hour before it petered out, but the memory remains in my head forever. What an awful kid I was at that moment. How much did I hurt a person I cared about? I’ll never actually know. I lost touch with them and now I don’t even know their name, as they changed it shortly after high school. To them, wherever they are, I’m sorry. It’s a small sentence, but it’s one I mean sincerely.

Why do I share this story? Well, for one, I’m an adult now who looks back at that behavior as pretty fucked-up and have taken many steps to be better. But also, I see a lot of that same urge replicated in our current queer community. Rather than stick by those who don’t fit a cis-centric, heteronormative ideal, many folks who call themselves “queer” want to play passing police. If you don’t look or act a certain way, you’re embarrassing everyone and should be left out. That’s not just a bad way to treat your fellow LGBTQs; that’s a terrible way to treat anyone at all.

I’m not old but I am old enough to know this: You will regret choosing societal acceptance over your community. Right now, we’re all in the same muck whether you’re “normal” or not. Don’t sink because you’d rather be palatable. Reach out your queer hand and I’ll take it in mine.

We're All We've Got

Thursday 7, the Little Gay Shop & Future Front House

TLGS and Future Front TX invite those needing community to an healing gathering, with socializing and space for speaking. They ask that attendees bring "some sort of community care" such as food, kindness, or counseling. Those interested in speaking should DM TLGS.

Next of Kin

Saturday 9, the Ballroom

Local vocal virtuosos Next of Kin takes over Fruth Street with their sweet sounds for a show that also features sevenpiece bluegrass/funk/folk-country fusion Texas String Assembly and psych “punk-grass” pickers Sicard Hollow.

Small Town Big Pride: Taylor

Saturday 9, Taylor, TX

Austin LGBT Chamber of Commerce calls all local-minded mavens to join ’em for a field trip to Taylor, where you can support the LGBTQ businesses and allies in communities neighboring Austin. Put a few bucks down to take a bus trip featuring sips and socializing, or RSVP for free and drive ya self out.

Roller Derby Open Skate

Saturday 9, TXRD Thunderdome, Buda

Local Queer ATX teams with Texas Roller Derby to give y’all a chance to skate the derby track and learn the basics of derby-dom. Roll on in with your own gear or borrow skates and pads.

Big Tits, Bigger Dreams

Saturday 9, Cheer Up Charlies

Brigitte Bandit returns to host this open-mic drag night alongside special guest co-host SurGodiva. DM Brigitte to sign up.

Hunky-Tonk Happy Hour

Saturday 9, Rocky’s

DJ Boi Orbison marks this Sunday as one for the Hunks and Hunk-lovers. Get on down to Austin Motel’s newest bar where there’ll be a cowboy drag show, DJ sets by Boi and RealHypha, and plenty of drinks to keep the party going.

Rhinestone Revolution

Saturday 9, Cheer Up Charlies

Brought to y’all by Queer Liberation Network, this touring party & fundraiser hits Austin this Saturday. Enjoy performances by local drag superstars, aka Rhinestone Revolutionaries, hosted by Best of Austin winner Brigitte Bandit. DJ Chorizo Funk spins.

Woke Cowboy

Saturday 9, ColdTowne Theater

Ha ha: That is me laughing as an example of what YOU’LL be doing at this comedy showcase of Austin’s diverse stand-up scene. Event copy from WC advises this as a great way to “[get] some much needed post-election laughs!”

Sparkle Stride

Sunday 10, Lynny's

Get your blood pumping and body moving with Erica Nix and Lynny's on 705 Gunter. Includes aerobic warm-ups and the titular Sparkle Stride around the neighborhood.

Second Sundays with Abundant Masculinities

Sunday 10, OutWellness

Taking place post-trans-masc workout, cool down with a mindful discussion about transmasculinity. Expect activities designed to inspire critical thinking and reflection on masculinity as well as guided meditation.

Body Liberation ATX November Hike

Sunday 10, Hamilton Greenbelt

Pull on your outdoor boots for a walk among Central Texas’ beautiful natural surroundings, with all bodies, abilities, and identities welcome. Organizers ask that you please RSVP, so make sure to sign up before attending.

Soft Serve

Sunday 10, Cheer Up Charlies

Gothess Jasmine hosts while BabiBoi provides the hot beats at this special BIPOC-focused night featuring R&B slow jams. p.s. Make sure to check in on Friday, Nov. 8, as BabiBoi’s dropping their new album, Control Freak.

Bronco

Monday 11, Sagebrush

Country Fried Dance returns for another boot-scootin’ session over in South Austin, with DJ Boi Orbison and the promise they’re “comin’ in H-O-T-T-O-G-O with fresh dance moves.” Cover’s $10 cash-ola.

Frida Friday Post-Election Gathering

Monday 11, the Cathedral

Las Ofrendas calls for all those shaken in the wake of this week's election results to join in a community space centering BIPOC & LGBTQ folks. Features art-making, yoga, wellness support, and much more.

Queer AF

Tuesday 12, Rain on 4th

Hosted by Rain’s show director Basura, this weekday wake-up call brings you all the queer fun you can handle with cast members Miss Good, Lavender Thug, and Yvonna F. Mei playing nice with special guests.

Drink & Draw with Live Model

Tuesday 12, the Austin Eagle

Brush up on your life drawing skills the Sir Rat way: This session of creative expression will feature near-nude male models and obvi the delicious drinks of the Eagle. BYO art supplies and appreciation for (almost) naked hunks.

Tales of the Stiletto Coast

Wednesday 13, Vigilante Bar

Don’t say goodbye to ghosts, ghouls, and goblins; join the drag artists of the Stiletto Coast alongside their intrepid DM Gray for another round of their interactive comedy D&D show. Plus: Special guest performers Vivi VVitch and Hot Lunch.