After a Fashion
Local openings and changes, plus a few words to the wise re the use and abuse of culottes and, ugh, mullets.
By Stephen MacMillan Moser, Fri., Dec. 8, 2000
WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT... Culottes. Gauchos. Skorts. Cold-Weather Capri Pants. Bifurcated skirts. Call them whatever you want to, but they're on their way to a store near you soon. We have blissfully escaped any sort of culotte revival until now, but I'm afraid our days are numbered. The fever has already hit Manhattan, and if our fashion math is correct, we can look for their arrival in Austin in approximately two years (maybe less). They are said to be worn with boots of every variety, and that's a pretty safe bet. But remember the culottes of the Seventies? Boots were a favorite then, too; by the time the gauchos breezed around, boots were morphing from the laced-up Victorian hippie look to the looser Frye-boot look with a stacked heel. But we also had the options of many different shoe styles: Remember BareTraps? The thick and solid wooden sole with lots of straps were perfect; they let no one stand in your way as you clomped across the dance floor. Or "corkies" ... remember them? Lighter than the clunky shoes mentioned above, but with lots more straps, which had a tendency to rip out at the most inconvenient time. You glued them and nailed them back together, but eventually you just bought more of them. Then (and this is my favorite), there were Famolares ... remember them? The wavy sole that gave a spring to every step, but also caught on every stair or bump, sending you careening across the dance floor, and thanking God you were wearing gauchos and not a skirt. Paired with the chain-belt revival, and the revival of aviator-style glasses, we're backtracking to a look that looks very cute on the very young ... on Halloween. But the ugliest rumor of all, and I pray to God every night that it's not true, is the return of the mullet for women. We've hardly even dealt with the return of the Farrah yet (great with the gauchos and boots), and here we're being threatened with the mullet. It's just not fair. The mullet has made its return for men (I heard the rumor almost two years ago) -- the Chelsea boys prefer either that or shaved clean -- but the mullet is dangerous in the wrong hands. Conjuring up nightmarish images of Billy Ray Cyrus or, worse, Michael Bolton, it's just too hard to tell whether the wearer of the mullet has a sense of history or just a sense of humor. But that's on men. On women, it's worse. To me, the mullet is exemplified by the legions of lesbians who adopted the style, made it a sort of trademark of their own, and never let it go. Not that there's any harm in looking like a lesbian (it seems to be rather trendy here in Austin) -- the harm is in anyone holding on to any particular fashion (especially one that is named after a fish), hoping it comes back in. For more on this tragedy, see www.mulletsgalore.com
