Coming Soon

Showgirls

A warning for those in search of another kind of good time: The only thing that will get blown watching Showgirls is your mind. Perhaps one of the best examples that pole-licking strippers aren't always sexy, this 1995 Paul Verhoeven film about a dancer sleeping her way to the top as a Vegas showgirl became an instant classic in the so-bad-it's-good category. Just consider some of these choice lines from the pen(is?) of Joe Eszterhas: "I have a problem with pussy ... It must be weird, not having anybody cum on you ... People gots AIDS and shit ... I'm erect. Why aren't you?" Saved by the Bell's Elizabeth Berkley plays reluctant heroine Nomi Malone (get it? know me?), who screams at them all, again and again: "I'm not a whore!" Well, baby, you ain't no actress, either. The film's portrayal of female sexuality is either utterly clueless or openly hostile, and either way, it tells us far more about its filmmakers' therapy sessions than we ever wanted to know. By the time Nomi gets it on with Vegas sleazeball Zack (Kyle "How did my career come to this?" MacLachlan) in the pool, it is as if you are staring directly into the black soul of Joe Eszterhas. Nomi doesn't simply have an orgasm, she plunges backward into the water, flailing her arms about and grunting as poor Kyle MacLachlan tries to keep from getting a swift hook to the lower jaw. He looks like a nude fisherman determined to reel in the day's biggest catch, even if it means breaking his rod. It's a sad, sad day when naked pool people raise only titters, but if you listen carefully you can hear a sound -- it's the bottom of the barrel being scraped.