The Governor Salutes Texas Music

The Governor Salutes Texas Music

La Zona Rosa, Wednesday 13 Just moments after giving a cigarette to a homeless person half a block away, you are greeted with nearly unctuous friendliness by the registration folks at Governor Perry's shindig. An embarrassing array of hors d'oeuvres are available for your enjoyment as you wait for Junior Brown to take the stage and deliver Texas music for your inner good ol' boy. You nibble patiently on your veggie quesadilla and people watch (is that Lady Bird?), waiting for any surprise from the sea of white faces. Brown takes the stage at 5:30pm and delivers the goods, as expected. Highlights include the good ol' standbys, "Broke Down South of Dallas," "My Wife Thinks You're Dead," "Hillbilly Hula Gal," and "Highway Patrol." Then Fearless Leader, er, Gov. Rick Perry takes the stage as cheerleader for SXSW, proclaiming it the premier music festival in the world. "Trying to describe Texas music is like trying to fit an 800-page dictionary into 10 pages of Cliffs Notes," crows Perry. He brags on Austin a bit more, sounding like a Chamber of Commerce press release as he cites the range of musical styles represented in the city's 1,100 clubs (where this particular statistic comes from is unclear, unless he's including cover bands at Bennigan's), and reminds Brown that Russell Crowe is a fan. "Not only can he act a bit, but he's got good taste in music," says Perry, before threatening to haul saucy blonde Molly Beth Malcolm, chairperson of the Texas Democratic Party, onto the dance floor to prove that "this ol' Republican knows how to rock!" You roll your eyes and consider smuggling out some of those quesadillas to the kid who's now smoking one of your cigs. Maybe then you won't feel so dirty.