Memorial Day should be a peaceful time of quiet reflection, a good day to nurse that blistering sunburn and wicked umbrella drink hangover you got from two hard days of partying at the lake. Yeah, at the end of a long, beautiful spring, sometimes it’s nice to just relax sur le lac with some friends (ideally the rich ones with the Ski Nautique) and listen to the piercing whine of the jet skis, the lecherous hoots of drunken, leather skinned bass boaters (Hay baby, tape yer tarp off!), and the fully cranked, broken-speaker rap rattle of cheapassed boomboxes. Memorial Day along with its fraternal twin Labor are the holiday bookends to summer. Both sport outwardly drab mission statements that belie their raucous, hedonistic reality. It’s not surprising. Most people don’t need much of a reason to party, and even though death and wage slavery are thematic speed bumps to be sure, they’re not nearly enough to stem the tide of revelers. Plus, if you want to honor the dead or the employed, it behooves you to first make damn sure that you’re not one of them. Start with the bathing suit: something Day-Glo is probably your best bet. Sure those classy, muted tones are swell for the catalog, but when you’ve got a drunken cigarette boat captain bearing down on you at 30 knots, you need swimwear that screams louder than your vocal cords. Of course, lake fashion isn’t always just about safety. If you’re going to spend money on a wax, you might as well make the most of it, right? Many people do, which is very often what the cigarette boat captain is looking at when he should be steering the boat. For drinks, your choice should include a selection of light beer and something involving rum or tequila. If you can incorporate either into a chartreuse or Caribbean blue colored cocktail, all the better, eh? You might even be able to find some matching toilet sanitizer cakes – which should blend well with the inevitable upchuck. If you need training on making freaky colored rum drinks, try Carlos'n Charlie’s Skip and Go Naked. In fact, try it on Memorial Day because the Emotions, one of Texas’ most popular cover bands, will be rocking on the C&C stage. Cover band, you say? Yes, the Emotions are a cover band … a cover band with an 18 wheeler full of sound and lighting equipment and rabid fans in one-horse, dance-hall towns all over Texas. Besides, after a few brightly colored rum drinks, you’re going to want something to hum along to.
