Hey, Wait... I Got a New Complaint

Dear Editor,
    I must admit being so inspired by the recent protests against your crossword puzzle parliamentarian that it spurred me to get my fingers out of their usual hidden playgrounds and to my keyboard to file my own complaint:
    YOUR INTERNET FONT
    Why is it so small? Easy: it matches the font of your print edition. The print font I understand. You're trying to use as little paper (fancy press lads call it newsprint) as possible (admirable!). But the internet is different! Have you heard? If you increase your font you will just be using more, uh, nothing?
    Can someone at your wonderful publication press a few buttons and remedy this please? I know, I know, eyedrop sales would drop even more than when loco weed was (sort of) legalized, but progress always has collateral damage.
    I've been in Austin since 1981 (43 years! Yes, I do math) and have enjoyed your weekly since the beginning. Annoying through the years, the tiny print is now torture.
    I'm sure there are a few others who would enjoy it. Boomers, I think they're called? I've heard there's a lot of them!
    I can't increase the font on my phone without warping the layout and affecting other things but, hey, why keep the joy selfishly to myself? Can you please increase the internet font size and spread joy throughout the land please? Please!
    Oh, and Dark Mode would also be most appreciated! Is there a Dark Mode icon on your website somewhere? If it is, I can't see it.
    THE INTERNET FONT IS TOO SMALL
    Did I say please?