Reduce, Reuse, Re... Something

Dear Editor,
    We have a great city. One of the best! I've lived here for years and it's hard to beat. Once our fair city discovers a semi-recent invention called recycling, I believe it will be nearly perfect! We all know by now that recycling plastic is fake, but every time I see a garbage can full of Topo bottles and beer cans I die a little and am tempted to call up the UN and ask them to add this issue to their Sustainable Development Goals. And a blue can lined with black plastic that's also full of garbage doesn't count!