The Far Out Lounge & Stage
Completely Partisan Satire
RECEIVED Thu., Oct. 4, 2007
Dear Editor,
We can't let the Republicans go on living in our fair country, can we? They stole two presidential elections and have permanently damaged the nation.
Once we Democrats take over, we obviously can't go back to business as usual. It'll only be a matter of time before they game the system and start screwing things up again.
Let's face it: America will never be safe until the right are driven from our country. Since the political right in America is a tiny minority of creepy white guys, it's only appropriate for them to move out and for us to stay.
Here's my plan: We clear the cool people out of Texas and put the Republicans there. They could have their own country. Texas has already been totally messed up by conservative/libertarian policies, so the wingers would feel at home there.
Radical as it sounds, this is a win-win proposition.
"Wingnutistan" would be a country composed almost entirely of white males. It would have a closed border, you bet your ass. Taxes would be low, and there would be a whopping big deficit. Abortions would be handled by the mob, and the infant mortality rate would be through the ceiling. There would be no health-care system, no food-safety laws, no workplace-safety laws, no environmental regulations, no Meals on Wheels, no National Weather Service, no Medicare, and no liberals to rip off. Homosexuality would be illegal – yet there would be oodles of homosexuals. There would be no people of color, no science, no culture, no art.
They would be dead within weeks. Like I say, it's win-win.
We can't let the Republicans go on living in our fair country, can we? They stole two presidential elections and have permanently damaged the nation.
Once we Democrats take over, we obviously can't go back to business as usual. It'll only be a matter of time before they game the system and start screwing things up again.
Let's face it: America will never be safe until the right are driven from our country. Since the political right in America is a tiny minority of creepy white guys, it's only appropriate for them to move out and for us to stay.
Here's my plan: We clear the cool people out of Texas and put the Republicans there. They could have their own country. Texas has already been totally messed up by conservative/libertarian policies, so the wingers would feel at home there.
Radical as it sounds, this is a win-win proposition.
"Wingnutistan" would be a country composed almost entirely of white males. It would have a closed border, you bet your ass. Taxes would be low, and there would be a whopping big deficit. Abortions would be handled by the mob, and the infant mortality rate would be through the ceiling. There would be no health-care system, no food-safety laws, no workplace-safety laws, no environmental regulations, no Meals on Wheels, no National Weather Service, no Medicare, and no liberals to rip off. Homosexuality would be illegal – yet there would be oodles of homosexuals. There would be no people of color, no science, no culture, no art.
They would be dead within weeks. Like I say, it's win-win.
Perry Logan
