29th Street Ballroom
Top 10 Austin Myths
RECEIVED Mon., July 2, 2007
Dear Editor,
I feel like exposing some misperceptions/myths about Austin:
1) The last people who have a right to complain about rude motorists are the bicyclists.
2) The last people who have a right to complain about rude cyclists are the motorists.
3) Austin is not/never was the live music capital of the world. I'd shout this out, but I'd probably violate some sound ordinance somewhere.
4) What people around here call cedar is not cedar.
5) What people around here call live oak is not oak.
6) Town Lake is not a lake.
7) Austin is a green city?
8) = 6 + 7. Maybe what the City Council, Chamber of Commerce, et al. meant was the green-tinted sludge color of Town Lake. By the by, when was Town Lake any color other than some shade of brown?
9) Austin is not weird. The farther north on 183 you go, the more the city resembles a suburb of Dallas. What we have/had were pockets of self-expression along South Congress, South First, North Loop, Duval, parts of Burnet Road, and other areas that have been horned in on by people co-opting this "weird”-ness to make money. Nothing shouts “weird” like self-conscious hipsterism, hundred-thousand-dollar-plus condos on South Congress and $750-plus "affordable" one-bedroom apartments on South Lamar.
10) The real reason I wanted to make this list. This first nine are just me being petty. It was either this mayor or the previous who once proclaimed Austin traffic lights 84% timed. Bullocks. Horribly timed lights have been the bane of Austin drivers since before I moved here in '92. The fact is it's more like 84% of lights are not timed. Mistimed lights cause congestion, contribute to pollution (ahem, Austin is green?), and promote speeding and aggressive driving.
I feel like exposing some misperceptions/myths about Austin:
1) The last people who have a right to complain about rude motorists are the bicyclists.
2) The last people who have a right to complain about rude cyclists are the motorists.
3) Austin is not/never was the live music capital of the world. I'd shout this out, but I'd probably violate some sound ordinance somewhere.
4) What people around here call cedar is not cedar.
5) What people around here call live oak is not oak.
6) Town Lake is not a lake.
7) Austin is a green city?
8) = 6 + 7. Maybe what the City Council, Chamber of Commerce, et al. meant was the green-tinted sludge color of Town Lake. By the by, when was Town Lake any color other than some shade of brown?
9) Austin is not weird. The farther north on 183 you go, the more the city resembles a suburb of Dallas. What we have/had were pockets of self-expression along South Congress, South First, North Loop, Duval, parts of Burnet Road, and other areas that have been horned in on by people co-opting this "weird”-ness to make money. Nothing shouts “weird” like self-conscious hipsterism, hundred-thousand-dollar-plus condos on South Congress and $750-plus "affordable" one-bedroom apartments on South Lamar.
10) The real reason I wanted to make this list. This first nine are just me being petty. It was either this mayor or the previous who once proclaimed Austin traffic lights 84% timed. Bullocks. Horribly timed lights have been the bane of Austin drivers since before I moved here in '92. The fact is it's more like 84% of lights are not timed. Mistimed lights cause congestion, contribute to pollution (ahem, Austin is green?), and promote speeding and aggressive driving.
Noel Gonzales