Finds Ventura's Outlook Limited

Trichotillomania is a terrible affliction. I have the Michael Ventura-induced variety. And since I can't not pick up a Chronicle on the way home from work, nor can I resist the temptation to slow down and stare at the twisted wreckage on the roadside that is one of his "Letters @ 3AM" (take your pick), I'm consigned to making diary entries on numbers of hairs pulled and time spent pulling and using sensory aids (e.g., tinkling bracelets) to make more aware of what I'm doing – you know, so that I can modify my behavior. "Moth-eaten" is not a good look.
   Anyway, I was hoping Michael would show some compassion by listing the 100 things that make him happy, and have that be his next contribution to our culture. What a breath of fresh air. Not only would that be supremely entertaining, but I'm guessing that only the most cynical or paranoid of readers will see in this list the fruits of totalitarianism, and that's assuming he can even get halfway to 100. In that case, he'd have to look elsewhere to identify dark and sinister forces at work in his life. It's not President Bush, Michael. And I think I'm one step closer to recovery.