Roy Williams, B.J. Johnson, and Sloan Thomas will be hosting a noncontact football camp this weekend that'll focus on the skills and fundamentals that make for a good football player. They've also invited Michael Griffin, Nathan Vasher, Derrick Johnson, Michael Huff, and several other current and former UT and NFL stars. Talk about star-studded. Participants will receive a T-shirt, lunch, and autographs from Johnson, Williams, and Thomas. Register now by calling 740-2002! Fri.-Sat., July 13-14, 9am-4pm. Reagan High School, 7104 Berkman Dr.

What can you really say about the news over the weekend regarding Toby Futrell – the allegation her brother-in-law got hired at Austin Energy thanks to her?

As countless political scandals have shown us, it's not the crime but the maneuvering behind the scenes that spins out of control. Futrell's quick to point out the hiring wasn't illegal under city nepotism rules (although her "we're not related" defense is pretty lame) – more damaging is the perception created by city e-mails that the hiring was a fait accompli the moment Futrell brought it to bear, that blowback would ensue if the hire wasn't made. But what's far more astonishing – and practically unparalleled – are the quotes from current Assistant City Manager Rudy Garza ("The expectation is that it was something we do pretty quickly") and Austin Energy general manager Juan Garza (recalling former AE Vice President Al Lujan felt pressured to hire Futrell's kin.) Instead of soft-pedaling the accusations – Futrell compares it to some municipal version of the telephone game, where she makes a suggestion that's read as a dictate by the time it winds down the food chain – Rudy and Juan practically go out of their way to finger her, the latter dragging in an outside figure (Lujan) to make her look bad when he couldn't give Statesman reporter Tony Plohetski the goods himself. It has the hallmarks of a cover-your-ass operation; wary that the info would get out making them look bad, they freely admit they felt pressured by Futrell.

Bad business, bad religion, and bad science may be about to take a pummeling in the Texas courts in a bizarre and disturbing case.

Attorney General Greg Abbott is going after a marketing scheme that he says uses questionable research and religiosity to shift nutritional supplements. He filed charges Thursday in Travis County against Mannatech Inc., MannaRelief Ministries, the Fisher Institute for Medical Research, Mannatech CEO/MannaRelief founder Sam Caster, and MannaRelief medical director Dr. Reg McDaniel. He's charging them with multiple violations of the Texas Deceptive Trade Practices Act, with fines of $20,000 per violation. Abbott and the Texas Department of State Health Services are also after Mannatech for breaking the Texas Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, with fines of $25,000 per day per violation.

Here's the gist of the case: Coppell-based nutritional supplement firm Mannatech touts the benefits of what they call "glyconutrients, or plant-based 'health sugars.'" They use "educational" materials, mostly written by McDaniel, from the Fisher Institute (whose medical director happens to be McDaniel's wife, Candace). MannaRelief, also based in Grand Rapids, then takes donations to provide Mannatech products to children in developing nations. However, Abbott's arguing that the firm and its cohorts have knowingly made false claims that their pills and potions will relieve or cure everything from cancer to AIDS to Down’s syndrome.

Mark your calendars now: During the last weekend in September, Austin's own Texas Rollergirls will host the second annual Women's Flat Track Derby Association Championship Tournament. Defending their title as 2006's WFTDA champion, the Texas Rollergirls' top team will compete with seven other flat-track Roller Derby teams. The list of competitors comprises the Top 4 teams from both the eastern and western leagues in the WFTDA.

The wild women from the West include the Texas Rollergirls, Kansas City Roller Warriors, Seattle's Rat City Rollergirls, and Tucson Roller Derby, while the four teams from the East will be determined in August, following the Eastern Regional Tournament.

The Eastside's Scoot Inn and Attack Formation's Ben Webster hosted the fourth annual July Fourth Beer Bob (this year benefiting the Crack Pipes' Billy Steve Korpi) with live music, a beer-bobbing competition, and free jambalaya from Gene's Poboys. Here's the haps on beer bobbing: 1) Inflate a children's pool; 2) fill said pool with water, as much ice as possible, and 12-ounce cans of Pabst; 3) then contestants cross their arms behind their backs and commence to remove as many cans of beer from the pool with their mouth as possible in one minute. And, by the way, contestants get to keep the beers they remove from the pool during competition. Enough reason to join in right there.

The bobbing was fierce and contestants such as the Riverboat Gamblers' Mike Wiebe and Those Peabodys' Clarke Wilson braved the icy cold, sorta-sanitary water for bragging rights until next year's throwdown. While all performed admirably, none could keep pace with the relentless bobbing skills of Andy Brown who left no doubt that he was king of the beer-bobbing pool. Special recognition to runner-ups Stephen Ceresia and Clarke Wilson who walked away with arms full of delicious beer.

Troy Patton looked great Friday night in his AAA debut with the Round Rock Express allowing only four hits and one earned run over seven innings as the Express defeated Omaha 3-1. Patton picked up the W. The 21-year-old is the youngest player currently on the Express' roster and looks to be a solid candidate for a late-season call-up to Minute Maid. Straight out of Tomball High, he was a ninth-round pick for the Astros in 2004 and posted a nifty 2.99 ERA with the Corpus Christi Hooks before his Fourth-of-July call-up to Round Rock. Maybe '07 will be remembered as the year Patton and Hunter Pence broke through to the Show en route to lengthy and successful careers with the Astros. Maybe not. Jason "Turnin'" Lane went 0-3 Friday night and is batting .265 since being demoted to AAA.

More good news for water lovers: The Lower Colorado River Authority has announced that Lake Marble Falls is scheduled to re-open for recreational boating Sunday Morning.

For those of you keeping track, here's highlights of what will be open and what's closed on the river system as of 8am Sunday:

Open: Lake Marble Falls (provisionally), Inks Lake, Lake Buchanan and Lake LBJ, plus Barton Springs Pool.

Closed: Lake Travis, Lake Austin, Town Lake, and the Colorado River below Longhorn Dam, plus Bob Wentz at Windy Point, Cypress Creek, Hippie Hollow, Pace Bend, Turkey Bend, Shaffer Bend, Grelle, Gloster Bend, and Muleshoe Bend and Narrows.

However, the LCRA remind any boat users, water skiers or swimmers to be aware of debris, pollution, and raised bacteria levels.

There's a Nixon back in the news, and it's not just because (alleged) presidential hopeful Fred Thompson was leaking Watergate inquiry secrets to Tricky Dicky.

No, former Republican Carthage Sen. Drew Nixon has been indicted by a Panola County grand jury for the serious crime of abuse of office. His offense? Trying to manipulate an election. However, there's no DeLay-style plan for a thousand-year statewide Republican majority here. Nixon was caught trying to rig the ballot for the Panola County Fresh Water Supply District No. 1. While serving as the board's accountant and self-appointed election officer, he came up with the ingenious technique of telling potential challengers to the incumbents that they weren't allowed to file their paperwork. Which, after recent GOP attempts to manipulate the democratic process on a grand scale, seems a little amateur night.

Of course, Austinites may recall Nixon better for his little run in with the law back in 1997. That's when he got busted for trying to get some late-night action off an undercover cop on South Congress and carrying a gun in his car. That got him 60 days in the slammer out of a six-month sentence, but this time he could be looking at a $4,000 fine and up to a year of jail time.

Remember the confirmation from the Pentagon (those polyhedral geniuses in charge of keeping our fatherland secure), admitting to actually developing ideas for a gay bomb? We recently blogged about it.

In a strange Kubrickian turn, the truth continues to be stranger than any fiction, as a now work of fiction is in the works about this perplexing truth.

Yup. Gay Bomb, the movie. Courtesy of the strokey folks behind GayTanamo.

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