Coffee, Tea, or Fliptogs? Vending Machine Flip Flops Have Arrived

In the last six months, could any of these scenarios have applied to you?: ➽ You forgot your flip flops and have to limp home in some kind of thin, disposable foam from a pedicure? ➽ You thought breaking your heel after that last shot of Cuervo would get his attention (fail). Limping again.

➽ Tripping the whiskey fantastic down Red River bare-footed seemed like a good idea back at Club de Ville; at least you saw the broken glass before stepping on it.

➽ You could have sworn the other shoe was in your purse (?).

➽ You look down and realize you are wearing Tevas.

➽ Somehow, though you are only in your first trimester, your feet are twice their normal size after the dirty martini you just had to relax the bambino after a hectic day.

➽ An entire shoe came unglued, falling off, with long strings of rubber cement hanging. You realize that the beloved shoes are twenty years old. You are one of those artifact-wearing frumps.

➽ You need both of the shoes you are currently wearing to throw at Rick Perry's hair.

We can all relate to one or more of the above-mentioned. The good news is, even if your life isn't that dramatic (maybe you simply spaced on the tote containing your sane-person shoes, maybe it didn't actually get sucked into the escalator mechanism injuring twenty people), the answer is nigh: Fliptogs are coming to a bar near you! Look up one night and you'll see a retrofitted snack machine loaded with flip flops. It's not the booze, it really is shoes instead of condoms, offered in three sizes and colors (silver, gold, and pink), and priced at $12 a pair. These flops are a far cry from the aforementioned disposables from the salon. These are made of sturdy rubber with leather straps, and I have been wearing a pair as a daily driver for a few weeks. They're still looking good, and will still be flopping around next summer. If you want to check out the first Fliptogs vending machine, step into the Trophy Club at 310 East Sixth Street. The sandals are also available online at Fliptogs.com. Be kind to your feet, they do outnumber people two to one.